With Faith

Birthday Boy!!!

2010-09-25T18:10:00.000-07:00

"Baby" Sam's real birthday isn't 'til Wednesday, but we had his party today! My, how times flies!!!! He's a walking, talking, dare-I-say toddler now! Love this boy!!! One year ago today we were in a very scary place, waiting for him to be born with what were surely surgery-requiring heart defects. I will forever and ever give thanks to God for making our dear baby boy healthy!!!!! Happy almost birthday, Sammy-Sam!!!

Send Love to Cohen

2010-06-08T10:25:00.001-07:00

There is a little baby out there that I can't get out of my mind today. He was born yesterday and his name is Cohen. I've been reading his mama's blog for a few months. And he has a long road ahead of him. He was born with some heart trouble and will probably have his first heart surgery later this week.........

You can click here to "send love to Cohen"! Scroll down past the first story and you'll see his updates.

Or you can click here to get to his mama's blog.

Oh, it takes me back. Back to what is was like to have my newborn baby taken straight to the NICU and seeing him all hooked up. Back to what we thought we were in store for. Even though we had a very happy ending to Sam's story, it still brings back all those scary feelings. I can only imagine how Cohen's family is feeling right now.

Please say a prayer for Baby Cohen!!!

2009

2009-12-31T19:22:00.001-08:00

I have to say, I have grown fond of the year 2009.

To be perfectly honest, 2008 was notably hard. In 2008, we said good-bye to two little babies that we never got to meet. In 2008, we faced sadness that we never expected to happen to us. Twice.

But 2009??

I am lucky enough to say that I have had almost a full year with my Baby Sam already! I'm the lucky one who carried him for 9 months...starting in January of 2009. And looking back on this past year, I know I am so blessed and so thankful.

He's growing so fast. He's already 3 months old. He's nearly doubled his birth weight! And I'm trying to savor every moment. Yes, I'm tired. Yes, he wakes up a lot at night..... but that's what I'm here for! Yes, I missed dinner tonight because baby boy was tired and hungry and needed to be cuddled and fed. But there's nothing more important that I could possibly do.

There were two weeks before he was born when I was afraid I might lose him. Or at the very least, I thought I was going to be by his side through open heart surgery. Heart surgery, y'all. Those are scary moments I don't often relive.

But in 2009? In 2009, I witnessed a miracle. The God above healed our baby boy. He made his heart perfect. Our little Baby Sam with at least one, maybe 3 heart defects was born as healthy as could be!

In 2009, we added a fourth stocking to our mantle. And I get to sort clean laundry into four stacks. And my cup runs over. So with great joy, I welcome 2010. And I wonder what the year will hold! Happy New Year!!!

First Christmas!

2009-12-23T18:56:00.000-08:00

Our Baby Sam is about to turn 3 months old!! He is getting so big (probably 18 pounds now!), smiles ALL the time and sometimes you can get a laugh out of him. :) We can't wait to celebrate his first Christmas with him!

My Grandma Herbie sent out her yearly Christmas letter and she always includes family updates. I loved her mention of Sam, so I thought I'd blog about it. She wrote, "Our newest greatgrand (#8) Samuel was born Sept. 29th to Erica and Travis. He is our miracle baby, having been diagnosed to surely need heart surgery at birth, emerged a bouncing happy 9 pound 12 ounce strapping healthy guy."

Sometimes I forget how close we really thought we were to heart surgery for our little guy. But then I hear a similar story or reread my blog posts from September and it all comes flooding back. And I am so thankful. Our Baby Sam sure is our miracle!!!

Merry Christmas!

A message for Baby Sam?

2009-11-06T15:38:00.001-08:00

Hey Bloggy World. :) Baby Sam is doing GREAT. I have a favor to ask! I found out that I can make my blog into a book, so that I can show Sam when he gets older. If you followed Baby Sam's story, read the blog, prayed for him, spread the word...can you please leave a comment for him? That way he'll know all of the wonderful people who were by his side when he was born. Thanks!!

Little Pumpkin

2009-10-17T08:18:00.000-07:00

Great News

2009-10-12T17:35:00.000-07:00

Well, to be honest, I felt a little silly today -- but I found a real rooftop and I shouted from it. Because we had Baby Sam's 2 week heart check today and there is nothing wrong with his heart!!!!! So, after having parked on the roof of the parking garage, I fulfilled my promise and I shouted thanks to God for healing my baby boy. Because Baby Sam is healthy!!!

The only thing they could find at all was a thing/valve/hole similar to the ductus (which closed while he was in the NICU) that usually closes within weeks, instead of days. Sam's is open still and perhaps a bit large. But this is not something that would cause him any trouble as a child, even if it stays open. If we had not already been looking for problems, this would not have been detectable just with regular baby checkups. IF it stays open, then perhaps in three or four years, we can get it fixed, nonsurgically. But nobody is worried.

So our boy got the all clear today! We go back in April just to triple check things, but that is so far away from right now that I can't even schedule the appointment yet!

Feeling so blessed by my family of four.....

Check-up

2009-10-11T20:17:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow our sweet Baby Sam goes for a follow-up echo cardiogram at the children's hospital. Please say a prayer for our little baby's continued good health!

Sweet Boy

2009-10-09T18:40:00.000-07:00

My Heart

2009-10-06T10:59:00.000-07:00

There was a moment in the hospital when Baby Sam was crying. It was only my second or third time to even see my sweet boy. As I held him in my arms, I talked to him. He stopped crying, opened his little eyes and looked at me. And I could see it in his eyes. He knew me. It was like he was saying, "Oh, there you are. I know you. I know that voice." He stared at me for a couple of minutes before drifting back off to sleep. Oh, the love.

Thank you for praying for Baby Sam.

I said before that I don't know if it has really "hit met" yet. That our baby is here. That our baby is healed. Yesterday, I needed to go back to Dr. Fancy for a checkup for myself. Before I got to the exam room I stopped off at the restroom. And it hit me. The last time I was in that restroom I was looking in the mirror at my swollen, teary-eyed, mascara-stained face, moments after being told that my baby's heart looked dilated and that there might be something wrong. But this time? This time as I looked in that mirror I realized. I realized that while Dr. Fancy was right and there was something wrong with my baby's heart, he has been healed. And he is here. And he is healthy. And as I made my way back to the exam room and sat waiting, I heard a baby's doppler heartbeat through the wall in the room next door. I am so glad that my baby is here.

Thank you for flooding the gates of Heaven with your prayers.

Today our sweet Sam is one week old. This is what I hoped and prayed for, but he wasn't "supposed" to be home with us yet. At least according to the doctors. He was "supposed" to be in the NICU waiting for heart surgery for an undecided number of defects. But he's home. I'm "supposed" to be pumping every three hours for our baby so he can be fed in the NICU. But I get to nurse him whenever he's hungry.

Thank you for spreading the word and getting people from all over to pray for him.

Yesterday, the NICU decided it would not allow children under 12 in to visit during flu season. And while this sounds like a very smart idea (!!) this would have been sad for Emma. But now she gets to hug and kiss him whenever she wants. Because he is home.

Thank you for your thoughts, your words, your comments, and your support.

Sometimes I can't believe that it's all real. That our Baby Sam is here. I always thought he was my miracle in the first place just because of my MTHFR, but I never imagined he'd be part of something so big! I am so amazed to be by his side as he is a miracle. God has big plan for our boy and this is just the beginning. I believe God promised me this child a long time ago, this very child, and I am in awe that he is here. To God be all the glory!!

From the very most bottom part of my heart, thank you all (yes, you in the bloggy world) for your love, support, and most importantly for your prayers. We are blessed beyond measure.

Home Sweet Home

2009-10-03T19:38:00.001-07:00

I'm writing this blog from my bedroom, sitting on a recliner, INCHES away from my brand new baby boy as he sleeps. We are HOME and Baby Sam got to come with us!!!!!

Our baby boy -- the baby with one, two or three possible heart defects -- is perfect! The doctors could not find anything wrong with him! He completed a 4 day stay in the NICU and they sent us on our merry way!

This is what I hoped, dreamed and prayed for. Healing! I'm not sure if it has totally hit me yet.....

Baby Sam had hundreds...and I'd even venture to say thousands by the time you add up all the church groups!...praying for him! Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for spreading the word about our baby boy and for praying for him.

I 100% believe that God healed our baby boy!

From the Rooftops

2009-09-29T19:29:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, my sweet Baby Sam. What a day it has been!!! ....

We arrived at the hospital this morning around 5 am, got all prepped and by about 7:45 I was in the operating room awaiting my epidural and the doctor to begin! They brought Travis in and we waited behind the blue curtain on pins and needles. After several minutes, Dr. Fancy said, "Here comes Baby!" And at 8:10 am our baby boy was born CRYING. It was the most beautiful sound in the entire world, because it meant he could breathe!!! And let's just say, good thing for my waterproof mascara.

They took him instantly away. Travis had snapped a picture of his first second on the outside, but I didn't get to see him yet. Travis followed Baby Sam out with the NICU team to get all checked out and every once and a while, when the door opened, I could hear his precious cries. So I lay there, praying to the God above that Sam would be okay, and listening to Dr. Fancy direct another doctor on how to close me up.

Shortly after, they wheeled Baby Sam back into the OR, and for maybe 15 precious seconds I got to touch his head and talk to him before they took him to the NICU. And he was BEAUTIFUL! (Or am I supposed to say handsome?)

I got sent to recovery for 2 hours, while grandparents, my neighbor Sara and Travis all took turns gazing at our precious boy. It was hard to be patient. All I had to go on were his little footprints that had been handed to me by a nurse. Well, maybe not so little -- did I mention nine pounds 12 ounces?? 20.75 inches long!

When I got my real room, the first nurse told me I had to wait eight MORE hours to see my baby. But then my new nurse told me eight hours since surgery. Four o'clock couldn't come soon enough.

Sam and I were both surrounded by so much wonderful family today. Down to see Sam. Up to see me. Repeat. But, I think, Baby Sam has had someone with him this whole time!

Fast foward to the really good stuff. Sam had his echo cardiogram today. We waited HOURS for the results, but here goes:

The coarctation that the original cardiologist saw for sure? Can't be seen in Baby Sam's heart anymore.

The arch in his aorta that might have been too small, requiring open chest surgery? Is in the normal range for size.

The valve that might have been closing improperly? Is fine.

We aren't in the clear yet, but FIND ME A ROOFTOP, because I promised to shout from it! God answered our prayers. God answered YOUR prayers. The wonderful NICU nurse that was in charge of Sam all day said it is "likely" that he'll be able to go home with us and that he is treating him like a "normal" baby who is just hanging out in the NICU.

The things in question at this point, which will likely be answered by another echo on Thursday are that 1) his ductus (the valve that should close after birth) is a little large, but could quite possibly just be from being born, as it is a common sight in newborns. 2) The right side of his heart still looks a bit dilated, but nobody seems to concerned at this point.

So with this news, they took him off the warmer, wrapped him up, and started letting people hold him!!! I've been pumping and he's been drinking that from a bottle along with some formula until my supply is greater. The NICU nurse imagines that maybe I'll get to actually nurse him tomorrow. Wouldn't that be great!?

My mom is here on my hospital room couch and Trav is down with Baby Sam. And we are all about to go to sleep. It has been a wonderful and crazy day. I can't express enough my thanks to all of you for your prayers, to my family (and Sara) for their help today and to the God above who has answered our prayers. Thank you, God, for a healthy baby boy!!! May he continue in good health and join our little family at home soon.

Sweet (almost) Birthday Boy

2009-09-28T19:00:00.000-07:00

Well tomorrow is the long awaited BIG DAY. :) I think we are all packed and as prepared as can be! Check facebook or the twitter on the side of the blog for updates! We'll post pics when we can, but it might be a pretty busy day. :)

I don't really have the profound words to express myself tonight, so I'll direct you back to this. I still believe it!

I'm praying and boldly asking for the powerful hand of Jesus to heal our baby!

Belly Pic & Twitter

2009-09-27T19:52:00.000-07:00

In case you ever wondered what a ten pound baby looks like when he's laying sideways across his mama, here you go! :)

It is getting soooo close to Sam's birthday!!

In an effort to keep y'all updated on Tuesday when he's born, I started a twitter account that I'll be able to update from my phone. You can read these little updates on the right side of my blog, just under the I Heart Baby Sam button.

It's hard to describe what's going on in my head right now. I am so very happy to meet our baby boy, but I have to admit I'm scared, too. Please keep praying for Baby Sam!!! We love our boy so much.

Psalm 139:13-18

"For you formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them. How precious are Your thoughts on me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand."

TWO DAYS!

2009-09-27T06:49:00.000-07:00

Just in case you were wondering, we are still here and have TWO DAYS til Baby Sam. We have a big long list of things to get done before our sweet boy gets here, so I haven't gotten to blog much. BUT, I promise to get you one more belly picture before the big day. Cuz nobody is going to want a belly picture AFTER the big day, that's for sure! ;)

Target

2009-09-24T19:56:00.000-07:00

Today the little lady and I decided to lay low and take it easy. I kept her home from school because everywhere I look, someone has the flu. If there's anything I can do to keep her healthy to meet her baby brother, I have to do it! Here's a little portion of our Target trip today.

Nice Lady: Whoa! You must be ready!

Me: Yup! Almost. 5 more days!

Nice Lady: Ohmygoodness. Are you having two?

Me: Nope. Just one big boy! Almost 10 pounds.

Checkout Girl: Is he heavy??

Me: I guess so.

Nice Lady: Has he dropped yet?

Me: Hmmm...I don't think so. He's laying sideways. (I point to his head and feet across my belly.)

Checkout Girl: Oh yeah. I can tell!

Nice Lady: Ten pounds?

Me: Yup! Oh, and I'm really only 38 weeks pregnant.

Nice Lady: GASP. Well, good luck!

When I get into a conversation like this, for some reason, part of me feels like I should explain Sam's story. That his birth on Tuesday probably won't be a run-of-the-mill baby birth. That we might not get to have him stay in our room. And I might not get to nurse him for weeks. But then the other part of me thinks, well, for one, strangers in Target don't need all that information, and it doesn't really matter anyway. Tuesday will still be Sam's BIRTHDAY! We will celebrate him no matter what. And we can't wait.

All I really know is that tomorrow when I wake up I can say, "Four days til Baby Sam!" And that will be music to my ears.

I am still praying to God to heal our baby boy. I would love to proclaim a miracle when Baby Sam is born healthy and strong and the doctor's can't explain it.

A Good Appointment

2009-09-23T14:12:00.000-07:00

We had a Dr. Fancy appointment today. It went really well!

He was very encouraging about the diagnosis we received last week.

He liked the view he got of Sam's heart today. He could clearly see the dialated part of his heart but thought things didn't seem as worrisome as last week.

Baby Sam weighed in at 9 pounds 13 ounces! He gained almost a pound this past week, so he should be well into the TENS when he's born.

Speaking of which, there are now only SIX days til Baby Sam. Dr. Fancy moved up the date by 2 days (to THIS Tuesday the 29th).

Baby Sam scored an 8/8 on his biophysical profile!

We left the appointment feeling very encouraged. As things stand, everyone anticipates surgery for our sweet boy shortly after he's born, but his moment of birth is not being anticipated as scary or like he'll be in urgent danger of any kind.

We are so ready to meet our baby boy and find out what's really going on in his little body. We'll know so much more after an echo cardiogram once he's born.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support.

Beautiful Dream

2009-09-22T07:52:00.001-07:00

I had the most beautiful dream last night. In my dream, Baby Sam had been born, but I hadn't seen him yet. When I went to see him, there were two babies laying side by side and I just knew which one was Baby Sam because he looked exactly like all of his ultrasound pictures. And he was mine. And he was healthy. I got to pick him up and hug and kiss him. God had healed my baby boy.

And I do believe that could happen in real life. He could be born perfectly healthy and strong. And I would shout it from the rooftops. I would.

But if he's born as expected, needing surgery, I am prepared to fight. I will use every last bit of myself getting my baby well. I will pray with every ounce of my strength and sit by his bedside so he's not alone.

We are more than incredibly blessed to have our family around. My mom is pretty much moving in on October 1st to take care of Emma. Every day she tells me that she has her suitcase and a cot in the car, just in case. (Mom, we aren't going to make you sleep on a cot for a month!) And I know my dad and Travis's parents will be with us every step of the way too. And my cousin has offered to mail us a house key to her near-the-hospital house so that we can stop by anytime for a nap or a shower or a night. And my neighbor across the street is getting me through each day with distractions and sometimes even dinner. And that's really just the beginning of all the support we've received. My head is spinning (in a good way) with all the love we've been shown.

Unless something changes tomorrow at Dr. Fancy's, we are NINE days til Baby Sam. I am overjoyed and terrified at the same exact time, trying to hold onto the faith that got me to Baby Sam in the first place.

Please keep praying for our little baby. Grab a Sam button. Spread the word. God is listening.

A little bit frustrating...

2009-09-21T16:22:00.000-07:00

....but in hindsight, slightly funny.

Remember on Thursday when I desperately pleaded with Dr. Fancy's nurse to squeeze me in on Friday? And she said I had to be a real patient and that consult patients could not get squeezed in? And since then I've seen my OB and been trasferred as an official "real patient" to Dr. Fancy.....

Well, today, in a moment of I-can't-wait-til-Wednesday panic, I called her back, left a message and asked to be seen tomorrow. Six hours later she calls me back and says that Dr. Fancy is at his satellite office tomorrow and it is only for consult patients. Since I am a real patient now I can't see him.

Oh well. Wednesday it is!

PS. Baby Sam is FULL TERM today. Hallelujah!

The Angel Nurse

2009-09-20T15:09:00.000-07:00

So, rewind with me to Thursday. We had just been through our 4 hour cardiologist appointment and been sent home with some very scary news resonating in our heads. And we were in 2 cars. I was desperate to see my high risk doctor, to get someone else's take on the whole thing, to beg for an earlier c-section date. So I called and left a message with Dr. Fancy's nurse. She doesn't know me at all and it took her a while to call me back. When she did, she said she could not squeeze me in the next day because they were full and since I wasn't a real patient, I needed my OB's approval to get in. But I see Dr. Fancy every week. How am I not real patient??

Within seconds of hanging up with this nurse, my nurse from my OB office returned my similar plea-for-help call. And I believe, truly in my heart, that God put her on the other end of my cell phone that day at that moment when it felt like my world was crashing down around me.

Her name is Becky. And she's my Angel Nurse.

I told her what was going on, about the inconclusive ultrasound the day before, the 4 hour long cardiologist appointment, the diagnosis. And she was sad with me. And she let me sob. But then she helped me pull it together. She asked what the issues were. In my bleary-eyed-driving-on-the-freeway state, I couldn't look back at my notes and diagrams.

"Something like a cotraction of his ...oh, something, " I said.

"Oh, a coarctation of the aorta?" She asked.

"Oh. Yes. Yes, that's it. And something about a valve."

"Oh, the ductus, yes, yes."

And we went on and on. And my OB nurse, who is not trained in cardiology, knew exactly what was going on, exactly what Sam had been diagnosed with. She went on to tell me of 2 different babies that she knows personally who were born with very similar problems who are now thriving, chubby, happy babies.These were the first (of many) success stories I had heard. And about how the hospital we will be delivering at and having surgery at is the best place possible to be. And how we are so lucky to know now.

"So what's the plan?" She asked.

"I have to deliver with Dr. Fancy now."

"Well, that makes good sense." She agreed.

"But I just want to get him out!" I sobbed. "They tell me he's okay right now but how do they know he'll be okay in a few days? What if the problem gets worse? And I'm off the baby aspirin now." I was desperate.

Becky, the Angel Nurse, round 2. She went on and on, in the calmest voice, about how Baby Sam is in the best possible place right now. He is obviously getting everything he needs, he's 9 pounds after all, and he needs to be as big as possible and as strong as possible for his surgery. Inside of me, he is doing just fine, great really, it's only after he's born that he'll need help. She told me that God is on my side, watching me so closely.

Then she told me to go ahead and come on in the next morning just to talk to the doctor. And that day, when she saw me, she hugged me and reassured me all over again. She offered me contact information for the mamas of the babies who had similar problems. And she told me to call any time that I needed to talk.

I needed Becky that afternoon in the car. And she had all the right words to say to me. And I am so thankful.

2 Corinthains 1:3-4
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of Mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."

Baby Sam Button

2009-09-20T05:42:00.000-07:00

Some very sweet friends that my brother and I grew up with created this button for Baby Sam. It is a stained glass window in their church. And do you see those hands? They are holding a heart. Because God is holding Baby Sam and his heart in His hands.

I can't quite figure out how to give you the code so you could put the button on your blog, if you wanted to. I'll update when I figure it out! But you can find the code at http://www.flourblossoms.com/.

11 days til Baby Sam -- and I sure do heart him.

Going Strong

2009-09-18T20:15:00.000-07:00

Travis recorded the doppler today of Sam's heartbeat, going strong!

*See below for an update on today.

One Day at a Time

2009-09-18T19:26:00.001-07:00

Well, we are taking it one day at a time and today was definitely better than yesterday. And we can get a good chuckle out of the part when Travis checked the mail and received a jury summons for October 7. Luckily he could reschedule...for January!

We met with my OB today, and he came prepared with a book about heart defects and had talked with my specialist a couple of times -- though he had yet to see the actual echo results. He was very encouraging. Basically, he said that this isn't what you would want, but we are in the best city possible to deliver Baby Sam, he (the doc) is "in" very well with the heads of the cardiology department and feels 100% confident in the doctors who will be caring for Baby Sam. The problem(s) is/are fixable and he should have no lasting effects from any of it.

He has officially transferred my care to "Dr. Fancy" (this is just what I call him), my high risk doctor. I won't see my OB again until after Sam is born for my own post-partum care.

Like I mentioned before, I really get nervous about Sam staying in me too long. Now that I'm off the baby aspirin, I just really want to have him within the next 10 days, which is when the anti-coagulating effects wear off. However, Dr. Fancy does not think we need to move the date any closer, since October first is only 13 days away.

My OB explained that when I have the ultrasounds with Dr. Fancy, he does a biophysical profile of Baby Sam and he's been scoring 8 out of 8, a perfect score! This tells the docs that Baby Sam should be fine for the coming week (or more). If he'd gotten a 6 out of 8, they'd see me back sooner, but with an 8/8 I get seen again in one week.

We left my OB appointment feeling reassured and like this was going to be manageable. But, I must say, in the waiting room before my appointment? If after 2 miscarriages I ever thought looking at newborn babies was hard, my oh my, was it hard today. It seemed like everyone in the waiting room was there for their post-partum checkup with their tiny babies. I was a weepy mess. I'm sure I'll be in that same waiting room 6 weeks after my c-section, maybe even holding Baby Sam, but it was still hard.

Aside from the obvious worry and uncertainty right now, it's proving hard for me to be Mommy to our daughter without zoning out and just wanting to be on the couch amidst my thoughts. I know this will get easier and I'm still processing all of this. I want so much to be here for her and to make the next weeks of her life as normal as possible. We watched Tinkerbell tonight -- that seemed to be a good compromise. I could zone out in my own thoughts while we snuggled together.

We have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support from our friends, family, and strangers. If you've sent me a comment or a facebook message, or called my cell phone, I have read it (or heard it) and I am so grateful. Right now, I'm still spinning from yesterday and just can't respond to everything, but please know I'm reading your comments and we cherish your prayers.

Tomorrow, we will wake up and declare "12 days til Baby Sam!", take off the next link on our paper chain and celebrate him. The first few weeks of his life might not be what we planned and he'll have a fight on his hands, but we will be there fighting with him, every step of the way. We love you, Baby Sam!!!!!

The Details

2009-09-17T18:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I had a "routine" ultrasound with my high risk doctor (who I see because of the MTHFR blood clotting issue). I was expecting a quick ultrasound, like usual, and hoping for him to declare that the baby was ready to be born! I mean, he's an ounce shy of nine pounds, after all.

But then he looked at my baby's heart for a really long time. And then he went back and looked at previous pictures of my baby's heart. And then he started to use really big words, but all I heard was dilated, fluid, problem, cardiologist. He hoped he was wrong and that Baby Sam was just lying in a funny position and we'd get a better look with an echo cardiogram.

We are so thankful that we got in today, the very next day, for the echo cardiogram that takes a week or more to schedule.

After an hour and a half of a cardiologist looking at every tiny part of Sam's heart, she left the room with her poker face intact, to run her calculations.

Surely this is a false alarm. Surely Dr. Fancy was wrong. Surely Baby Sam is the picture of health.

And then the cardiologist returned and said, "We are certain of our diagnosis. We got good pictures. Let's look at this diagram of a normal heart."

Room spinning. Walls caving in. Tears blurring my eyes. A normal heart? What does that mean Baby Sam has??

From our understanding, there are potentially three little problems. The first is a definite -- it's called Coarctation of the Aorta. What this means is that there is a little kink in Sam's aorta. This affects the blood flow out to his body after birth. Right now in utero, there is a little (normal) valve that God put there that is open that is helping to supply blood around the kink. After he's born, the valve normally closes, around a week after being born. The doctors will put him on prolactin when he's born to keep the valve open while he waits for surgery. If we didn't find out about this now, he'd be born and probably be fine for a few days, until the valve starts to close (like it should) but he'd be left with the kink in his aorta and not enough blood flow. This can be fixed with surgery.

The second problem, not totally confirmed until he's here and can have his own tests not through mama, is Aortic Arch Hypoplasia. This is a narrowing of the aorta, before the kink, that may have to be fixed with a more complicated surgery.

And the third problem is possible Aortic Valve Stenosis, again we aren't sure til he's here. This means that the main valve from his left ventricle out to his aorta is not closing 100%. This can be repaired using a catheter, through his femoral artery to fix this.

Because of these issues, he has visible symptoms in his heart due to extra "down stream" pressure, causing his right ventricle and atrium to be swollen. Which is what alerted us to these problem(s) in the first place. These symptoms should clear up once the issues are fixed.

As soon as Sam is born, they will do another echo cardiogram on him, which will be much better since he won't be in utero anymore. We'll know so much more then.

I can't even begin to describe the feelings of today. And yesterday. But to sit in a room with a cardiologist, who just spent HOURS pouring over every detail of my child and have her say things like -- NICU, intubated, surgery, and he "should" be okay. Oh my.

She said I need to stop taking my baby aspirin NOW (as compared to Sunday, which was the plan all along) because it can cause more constriction to his already limited aorta. She says this is not happening yet, but she wants to be safe. She says he is in no distress and is completely unaware that he has anything wrong in his little heart.

Right now, he's kicking just like normal. We love him so much. And it all feels like a bad dream. Like we'll wake up in the morning, shout "13 days til Baby Sam!" and go to Target for more baby PJs. I believe that God can heal our baby. I believe that he is in good hands. And I am so thankful to know now.

If we didn't find this out, not only would he find himself in distress once he stopped getting enough blood flow, but then they'd have to rush him to the children's hospital while I lay helplessly in my hospital bed, post c-section, miles away. But now, we can deliver and he can be wheeled to the attached children's hospital for his care, while I recover a few hallways away.

It doesn't even matter anymore. All I want is Sam. But I have bags packed. Cute onesies and embroidered hats. Soothing music and big sister presents. I had been dreaming of the moment when they'd hand him to me for the first time. And Emma would come in a kiss her baby brother. And we'd all just hang out all day long in our hospital room loving on each other. Now all I want is Sam.

I know God is in control. I've also learned by now that God's plans aren't always our plans. My desperate plea to my God in heaven is, "Please let him live." My biggest fear has always been something happening to a full-term baby -- when if the baby had just been born, he'd have been okay. And now my full-term (on Monday) baby has very real heart defect(s). And I'm so scared. Right now I am more scared about the next two weeks. I know he needs to be a strong as possible, but I just want him to be born so he can start getting the help he needs.

Please pray for our little family. Pass this blog link along to anyone and everyone. God hears our prayers. Pray that God will keep our baby Sam safe and that he'll be born healthy and strong so he can face the weeks that are ahead of him.

1 John 5:14-15
"This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from him."

Update

2009-09-17T16:13:00.000-07:00

Well.....we need your prayers. The good news it that we found out now and can be prepared and deliver at the best hospital. But Baby Sam has 1, possibly 3 heart defects. He'll need surgery after he's born and he'll spend a good deal of time in the NICU getting well. Our world is spinning, but we cherish your prayers. God is watching over our baby boy.

ps. Does anyone know how to make one of those 'pray for Baby Sam' buttons?

Please Pray

2009-09-16T17:49:00.001-07:00

Please pray for our sweet baby boy. Check-up didn't go so well today and there might be something wrong with his heart. I don't really know much else, but we'll know more tomorrow after a fetal-echo-cardiogram. God is so much bigger than anything that could go wrong! Pray, pray, pray.....

And the answer is....

2009-09-15T14:10:00.000-07:00

After getting "squeezed in" this morning at 10:15, by 12:30 I had my answer. :) The doc said maybe, maybe, I was 1 centimeter dialated. But boy, did they make me wait. I really think they were trying to discourage this pre-regular-appointment appointment. hahaaa. He said the same thing -- that now the contractions have to be bigger and stronger than this to need to get checked.

I did get a non-stress-test out of it, and Baby Sam was doing great! At one point, he fell asleep, and the nurse came in and declared that she needed to "wake him up". So she put this thing on my belly and it made a big buzzing sound right on top of him. Poor Sam! He woke up, that's for sure. I don't think either one of us liked it very much. But he's doing great! I really think we are in for the October 1st long haul. But that's only 16 days away!!! Going to see Dr. Fancy tomorrow -- should get some good info from him.

Oh, and everyone needs a neighbor like mine. :) She not only picked my daughter up from school today while I was held up at the doctor, but she is also bringing us homemade lasagna tonight!!! Thanks, Sara!!!

Guessing Game

2009-09-14T19:50:00.000-07:00

Well, I never know what to do about these contractions! With Emma, we went to the hospital about 4 or 5 times wondering if it was "time". And it never was. Until I was induced.

And my contractions (that have been going on this WHOLE time, but for sure and documented since 26 weeks) haven't done anything to make the baby come early.

Last time I was at the hospital, the doc said more than 8 and hour it cause to get checked.

But at my last appointment, he just said more and stronger than what I've already been having.

That is hard to measure. :) And I know that if I go in, they probably won't give me medicine to stop the contractions, because I am THIRTY SIX weeks today. But he also said there are only so many times I can come in claiming labor before he can't send me back home without a baby -- or else he'll be totally in trouble if I have the baby on the couch. (I'm sure he said it in better words than that!) And I want his little lungs to be ready....so if I go in -- oh, I don't know!

All this to say, about every 5 minutes I have a contraction. I think I'll go to bed. Well, maybe I'll eat some ice cream first. And then go to bed. And call the nurse first thing in the morning and ask to get seen before my Thursday appointment. Because that would be soooo much better than a hospital stay.

Praying that baby Sam will be born healthy and strong and just the right time!

35ish weeks

2009-09-08T19:49:00.000-07:00

Our boy is doing great!!!! He weighs about 8 1/2 pounds! He got all checked-out at the fancy doctor today and everything looks just wonderful. 23 days to go! (Really 22, cuz it's practically tomorrow....)

Busy Week

2009-09-03T16:20:00.000-07:00

Well, this was a very busy week.

Overnight hospital stay? Check.

Visit with the high risk doctor? Check.

Visit with the OB? Check.

Phew. Today's OB visit was interesting. He said that with all of these contractions, if at any point I start to dialate, I'll have to go to the hospital. And if I am 36 weeks or more, we'll just have the baby. Because he can't send me home because I can't have the baby on accident -- I need a c-section.

So I'm thinking I REALLY need to be ready by the time my next OB appointment rolls around at 36 weeks. My mom is going to shop for my hospital bag essentials and we are going to finish getting Baby Sam's things this weekend. Hopefully, next time we visit the hospital, if even for a false alarm, I'll be way more prepared.

We'll be holding our sweet boy in 28 days or less! :)

A little adventure

2009-09-01T18:41:00.000-07:00

So thankful to be home.

So thankful that Baby Sam is doing GREAT.

So thankful for a sweet husband who would sleep on my hospital room "couch" all night long.

So thankful for an ultrasound and a 7 pound 4 ounce baby boy.

So thankful for all of the people who made my overnight hospital stay (and Emma's first day of preschool) possible.

So thankful that October 1st is one month from TODAY.

So thankful that my contractions have slowed down.

So thankful to not be hooked up to anything anymore.

So thankful for sleep............................

34 weeks (almost)

2009-08-30T18:28:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is 34 weeks!

Over the weekend, my sweet friend Emily (who was my maid of honor at my wedding) threw a little baby shower for me. It was so fun!!! Having all of my favorite girls in one room celebrating my sweet Baby Sam was so wonderful.

Baby Sam got lots of cute things. I absolutely can't wait (well, I will) for him to wear all his cute clothes and use his blankets and bibs and everything!!!

Tomorrow is also 31 days and counting.....

and just in case you remember this post, check out this almost empty bottle of pills!!!

This week I have a follow-up with Dr. Fancy to finalize the c-section date and aspirin plan. And I also have a check-up with my regular OB. And the Big Sister starts preschool two half days a week. I have a feeling the next month is going to fly!!!!

It's been a really long road to get from Emma to Sam and I find myself overwhelmed with joy and thankfulness. When I got married to my sweet husband I didn't cry. When I had Emma I didn't cry. Now I can't make it through an episode of A Baby Story without totally crying. On my list for baby & hospital essentials? Waterproof mascara. :)

33 Weeks!

2009-08-24T13:10:00.000-07:00

33 weeks!!!

5 1/2 weeks to go!!!

38 days!!!!

Wahoo!

this good thing

2009-08-19T18:32:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, unless we find out differently from Dr. Fancy, we are only 6 weeks away from meeting our Baby Sam!!! Sometimes that feels so close -- but sometimes it feels forever away!!! And in waiting, sometimes I find the time to worry. But then I read something like this.

(This is in the Old Testament, David's prayer to God. Totally not a prayer about having a baby -- but I think it still relates!)

2 Samuel 7:28-29
"Now, O Lord God, You are God, and Your words are truth, and You have promised this good thing to your servant. Now therefore, may it please You to bless the house of Your servant, that it may continue forever before you. For you, O Lord God, have spoken, and with your blessing may the house of Your servant be blessed forever."

MY TURN, MY TURN!!!!

2009-08-17T17:08:00.000-07:00

Today Baby Sam and I are 32 weeks along! :) :) That sounds like a lot all of a sudden! He should be about 5 1/2 pounds now and nearly 17 inches!!! Wow......

The last one of my friends who was pregnant ahead of me just had her baby a few days ago. Now it's my turn!!! :) :) I have a ton of friends who are due after me and it's fun to be the next one to have a baby! Trying to be patient.....

My mom got me a few things from Old Navy to hold me over for the next 6 weeks. I'm wearing a cute new shirt today and I love it! But when I look at the actual shirt, I think to myself, Wow, this shirt is really huge. Haha! Sam, you are totally worth it!!!

And since I'm here and blogging, I might as well give a shout out to my wonderful husband, who not only deep cleaned our bathroom yesterday but is once again at HEB getting our food!

This weekend I am going to (joyfully) waddle my way to my 10 year high school reunion! should be fun!

Fancy-Schmancy Doctor (Alternatively Titled: Hooray for Sugar!)

2009-08-12T18:13:00.000-07:00

Our Baby Sam -- 31 weeks!

(Can you tell that is his cute little face lookin' at ya?)

Today was my visit with the perinatologist that I was referred to by my OB. He was VERY nice and answered all my questions despite being in a big hurry to get from the satellite office to the hospital downtown for an emergency c-section!

The entire appointment, which began at 2 and we assumed with waiting would take hours, was over and we were in the car by 2:20! We had an ultrasound to fill those minutes, and it felt good to have a very specialized doctor looking over every inch of our baby boy.

Dr. Fancy said our boy is just over five pounds, so by the time we deliver at 38 weeks he'll be well into the nines. Sounds about right for a baby of ours! He said everything looks great. He even listened to the baby's heartbeat through the umbilical cord and said that it sounded clear -- and that there didn't appear to be any obstructions (blood clots) in there. He said he does not anticipate a problem with the placenta (MTHFR-wise) and that everything looks good!

At the end, he did say that the placenta was "a bit low" and actually called it "mild placenta previa". I don't really know what that means, other than that the placenta is near my cervix and could cause some bleeding if I went into labor, but he said it is so mild that other doctors might not even consider it worth calling "placenta previa" at all. And he was not worried one bit. But tomorrow I am planning on calling my nurse to get her take on it -- since googling it would be a big mistake. :)

Dr. Fancy also said I'd probably need to stop the baby aspirin at least 10 days before my c-section, and then start it up again for 4-6 weeks after, for my own benefit. He said our baby would NOT suffer any blood clotting consequences for being off the aspirin because "the aspirin lasts as long as the life of a platelet" or something like that. He also said it would be okay to double up on the Folgard (folic acid) -- that might have been my idea. :)

Long story short, our baby boy is looking GREAT, the new doctor was wonderful, I go back in 3 weeks to make a "final decision" about the aspirin, all the while continuing with my regular OB appointments. Oh, and the doc's parting words were, "Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?" I said, "Boy. Do you agree?" And he said, "Oh yes. It's a boy!"

Since our appointment was so short, my brilliant plan to have Travis go pick up Emma from his parents' house (where she had been napping and playing) turned into the "It's only 2:30 -- he has to go back to work" plan. So I went over to his parents' house where Emma was napping to get my own little nap. My mother-in-law had everything ready for me!!! A bed, a laptop, a TV, a FAN, and a very yummy snack!!! She is so sweet. Thank you, Sugar!!!!!!! :) :)

And this is why....

2009-08-09T19:11:00.000-07:00

....I get the following comments.

"Are you sure there aren't TWO in there?"
"WHEN are you due?"
"You must be miserable!!!"

That's one big belly!!!!! I'm 31 weeks along (tomorrow) and above is a current picture of me. :) And if you look closely, you can see my new best friend -- the box fan. We are inseparable!!!

And just to clear things up -- YES, there is only 1 in there. Yes, I'm not due til October, and NO I am not miserable. Big and swollen and hot? Perhaps. ;) But the thankfulness trumps all possible miserableness.

Oh! And tomorrow, as I hit 31 weeks I will ALSO be celebrating a 7 year wedding anniversary with one sweet hubby!!!! <3

LESS than 8 weeks to go!

2009-08-07T05:24:00.000-07:00

I have to admit that 8 weeks sounds like a really long time to me, but when I think about what was going on 8 weeks ago, it feels like just yesterday. Needless to say, I can't wait!!!

I had a checkup yesterday and everything is going just great. :) I asked my doctor if I needed to stop the baby aspirin (which moderately thins my blood) before my c-section, you know, so I would be able to stop bleeding at some point. He gave me lots of possible answers but in the end has referred me to a maternal-fetal-medicine-specialist for a 2nd opinion about my delivery and post-partum care.

He said baby aspirin stays in your system for 4 weeks, so I'd have to stop 4 weeks before my c-section. At that point, some people go back on the Lovenox (which majorly thins blood) because that can get out of your system in one day -- so I could take it up until September 30th -- and then have the baby on October 1st. He says there are, of course, risks to being on Lovenox, like getting in a car accident and having too much bleeding because the blood is so thin.....but that's not really very likely.

So, now I'm waiting for an appointment with a new doctor -- but I'll stay with my regular doctor after that for the rest of my pregnancy. I wonder what I'll find out?

I can't wait to meet our little boy!!!!!

Jumping Beans

2009-08-03T18:43:00.000-07:00

Did you ever have one of those tiny boxes of "jumping beans" when you were a kid? Here's a little video of my belly, Baby Sam, and a container of Chickfila Sauce. :) Much of the movement is my breathing, BUT you can see the little Chickfila container bouncing around if you watch closely!!

In other news, today is thirty weeks!!!!! Whoa! I have my first of the every-2-weeks OB appointments later this week. Yesterday, we took the big sister to the sibling class at the hospital. :) It was sooooo fun. When she saw the brand new (less than 2 hours old!) babies in the nursery she was thrilled and danced all the way down the hallway back to the elevator. :)

When the big day is here, we have 2 special presents for her. One is a boy baby doll (hard to find!). Clothes were even harder to find! I ordered a custom fit knit baby hat for the doll on Etsy and it cost about $2. haha. Now I'm going to get the lady to make a matching blanket. Also, she is going to get a beaded bracelet with her name on it and a charm that says "big sis". I sure hope she knows how special she is!

And here's the only belly shot I have right now! This is my belly barely fitting in a booth at Chuck E. Cheese's. hahaa!

Remind me?

2009-07-31T18:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I need to be reminded. Reminded that God has it all under control. Because sometimes, I forget.

I've been grumpy lately. Like almost wanting to complain about how (really quite) big I am. And how hot it is. And how I feel 9 months pregnant. But after losing 2 babies before we ever met, I promised to never complain. And to cherish and enjoy every second of being pregnant.

And today my grumpiness turned into that tears-behind-my-eyes feeling. And I didn't know why. I figured I was just tired. Because, let's face it, no matter how much I promise to enjoy it, I am in my 3rd trimester and that can be a tiring time. :)

But when my hubby told me we were going to go out to eat with his parents -- an event that I love! -- but I couldn't choose a single place to eat that sounded good and all I wanted to do was cry -- I realized something was up. So I stayed home. And watched several episodes of Say Yes to the Dress. :) Good therapy.

And when he and Emma got home the tears that once resided behind my eyes let loose. And turned into the let-me-excuse-myself-before-I-scare-my-child kind of tears.

Where was this coming from? Just hormones, really??

No, I found the root of my problem, amidst my tears.

I'm scared.

Tomorrow I will be 7 months pregnant! Which means only 2 months until we'll meet our precious baby boy -- unless of course, he surprises us early!

And Monday will be the THIRTY WEEK mark. What amazing milestones. And I'm so thankful.

But, I'm also scared. I'm scared that something could go wrong between now and then. Because if he were born NOW, he'd be small and he'd have a fight on his hands, but he'd probably be okay. That's of course not what I want -- I want him to be born healthy, strong and full-term. But I can't help but have that feeling of, Oh if he were only born now, then I could see him. And he'd be here. Because, my body allegedly starved the two babies we lost. My body worked against me. And I can't wait til the moment when he is out.

But that's not how I want to be. Because I really do believe that God is forming this little baby inside of me. And He knows how many tiny little hairs Sam has on his head. And He knows what's going on inside of me and He can see baby Sam when I can't. And I still believe that God promised us a baby boy that we would name Sam.

But I'm only human and sometimes I forget. And I need to be reminded.

And tonight, as I put on a happy face just in time to read bedtime stories to Emma, I got my reminder. Because as we read her nightly Bible story, it was the story of Sarah and Abraham. And about how God promised her a baby, but she laughed because she thought she was too old. But the messenger of this news said, "Why is Sarah laughing? Anything is possible with God."

Why is Erica scared? Anything is possible with God.

Yes, I believe that. Anything is possible with God. I have living, breathing proof of that sleeping in the next room -- my healthy daughter, born without complication before we ever knew what MTHFR even was.

And as I sit here, 7 months pregnant with a healthy, growing, and kicking baby boy, I will rest in God's promises and go forward in my faith that He is taking care of this little boy.

29 weeks and a day!

2009-07-28T18:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday marked 29 weeks -- and Thursday will mark 9 weeks 'til Baby Sam!!!!! (Though his daddy says he's going to come earlier than that!)

He probably weighs about 3 1/2 pounds by now. Grow, Baby, Grow!

I continue to get stares of amazement when friends and strangers think I'm "due any day!" and "ready to pop!" or "ready any minute!" Sorry, everyone, but I'm going to get a lot bigger!!! ;) Especially since this is the part where Sam starts to pack on the pounds.

I'm not sure if I got a lot bigger overnight or if maybe our little baby has "dropped" (which is normal, but perhaps a bit early). I don't remember that happening with Emma, but all of a sudden my shirts do not cover the bottom of my belly. And when I sit down? I can't (comfortably) sit up straight because my belly rests on my thighs! hahaa. I have to recline. :) I'm sure it's just me getting bigger......

Speaking of which, I am waiting very anxiously for Motherhood Maternity to send my new, larger shorts my way! I ordered them online and I know they've shipped. Now I wait. But it's soooo hot outside and I need some shorts! And I very much so disagree with their website when it says you should "order your pre-pregnancy size" in maternity clothes. Ha! Yeah right. These new shorts? They are 2 sizes up from my pre-pregnancy size...and I really hope they fit!

On Sunday, we are taking Emma to a Sibling Class at the hospital. We will have a 30 minute class, complete with diapering baby dolls, and then a hospital tour. I think she'll leave with a big sister shirt. :) I'm excited!

I can't believe (well, really I can) that we are going to have a baby in 9 weeks!!!!! I love you, Baby Sam and I can't wait to meet you and see your cute face and your tiny toes!!!!!

Baby Update

2009-07-21T19:27:00.000-07:00

Look at this sweet boy!

I had a great appointment today! Baby Sam is weighing in at 3 pounds and 4 ounces. He's a big boy so far! The ultrasound tech took all his measurements and began to calculate his size. Then she said, "How big was your daughter?" Ummm...9 pounds, two weeks early?? And then she measured him all over again. haha. He's in the 76% percentile for size. Good job, Sam -- keep growing!!! He also has HAIR!!!!! And he's sitting in a breech position, which probably will change but doesn't much matter since I have to have a c-section anyway. :) I got to see and feel an elbow jab me!! So fun. And after a visit with the doctor afterward, we can still conclude that my contractions are NOT doing anything to make this baby arrive early, so that is very good news. And now I get to go every TWO weeks! ;)

"Stresting"

2009-07-20T18:36:00.001-07:00

Stresting.

Yup. That's my new term. What is stresting, you wonder? The feeling you get when you have the undeniable urge of nesting -- yet you can't really accomplish anything or else you get contractions! And you feel stressed. Ergo.....I am not nesting. I am stresting. :)

I mean, don't get me wrong, I am still 100% blissfully happy, thankful and excited. I am just finding it hard to want (need?) to clean and shop and prepare -- when I can't. But as my hubby reminds me, all we need is SAM -- all of the rest of the stuff (the clean kitchen, the perfect scrapbook, the baby wardrobe and even the stockpile of diapers) is just extra.

If I really take it easy all day, my contractions are so few and far between. But if I stay busy for even a few hours, they come pretty frequently. I'm glad I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow! Grow, Baby, Grow!!!

I absolutely cannot wait to see him on the ultrasound. I've asked him very nicely to make sure I can see his precious little face. :)

And I'd like to give some due credit to my sweet husband who is, as I type -- at 8:45 pm and after a day that started at the gym at 5:30 am -- getting our groceries at HEB. THANK YOU!!!

28 weeks!

2009-07-20T04:02:00.000-07:00

Today I am 28 weeks pregnant!!! I'm officially in the 3rd trimester!

"Your baby weighs approximately 2.4 pounds and is a little under 15 inches from head to heel. He or she has been gaining weight steadily during the past 27 weeks as its stem cells develop into organs, blood and immune systems, and bones. However, from this point forward, your baby's weight gain will be due to increasing amounts of body fat."

Tomorrow we get another peek at Baby Sam!!!! Emma gets to come this time -- she's so excited to see her baby brother. I'll be sure to post some pix tomorrow.

I've been taking it really easy and my contractions have slowed down a ton! I can't get much done -- and my hubby has to do the dishes and grocery shopping -- but it's all worth it to keep this boy growing and strong!

My Cup Runneth Over

2009-07-15T18:13:00.000-07:00

11 weeks from tomorrow!!!!!

(Unless he surprises us......)

Tidbits

2009-07-11T18:47:00.001-07:00

Three ways to document just how pregnant I am. :)

1. Last time I went to the doctor, when I stepped on the scale, the nurse had to choose a new block of weight to measure me with. You know, like instead of starting with one big block and adding the little pounds, she used the next-step-up big block. :)

2. When I was pregnant with Emma, there was a point at which I weighed more than a friend of ours named Paul. And one day, in the car with lots of my girlfriends, I announced that I weighed more than Paul now. One friend said, "Oh, how much does Paul weigh?" and Paul's wife answered! ;) So then, everyone knew at least how much I weighed!!! Well, the time has come. And once again, I weigh more than Paul!

3. When I use a public restroom, if without Emma, I try and avoid the wheelchair accessible stalls, so someone who actually needs it can use it. (If I have Emma, we totally use it -- I mean we are two people after all!) Well, when I step into a smaller stall, I think to myself, oh there's plenty of room in here! But then when I turn to leave, it is almost impossible to get out and I have to squeeze my belly past the door. Well, I put a little thought into it and realized that when I enter the stall, I have all the room in the world because my belly is over the toilet seat. But when I turn around, my belly is smooshed into the door. :) Big stalls, here I come!

Slow down, Mama!

2009-07-11T09:18:00.000-07:00

So, apparently, shopping at 8 pm after a busy day is not a good idea. I came home from a night out with my neighbor and started having contractions about every 5 minutes. Yikes! (This did happen with Emma. From 35-38 weeks I had very, very regular contractions, and we ended up in the labor and delivery triage about 4 times wondering if it was "time". However, those 3 weeks of contractions really didn't do anything except put me on maternity leave early.)

So I sat on the couch on Thursday night, waiting, feeling and writing down my contractions.

"Umm..Trav? I'm having another one. That's 5 in the last 25 minutes??"

By now it was about 10:30 pm. The doctor on-call told me I could either get some medicine called in to my pharmacy to stop the contractions, or come in to the hospital to get checked out. While my head was really telling me this happened before and he's not going to be born now, I still couldn't help but want to make sure he was staying put. And I really didn't want to take any more medicine unless I HAD to.

So I called my neighbor around 11 pm and she came over and stayed with sleeping Emma. Isn't she nice??? :)

On the way to the hospital -- I had like 1 contraction. So I felt silly, but we kept going. It took a while at the hospital, but eventually the contractions picked up again and were about every 7 minutes. However, there is a magical test called a fetal fibronectin test, that predicts whether or not you'll go into labor any time soon. And mine was negative! I did get to hear Sam's heartbeat for about 3 hours on the monitor! :) That part sure was fun!

Since the contractions weren't doing anything (to prepare me for labor), around 3 am, they discharged us, telling me to contact my doctor in the morning and see what he wants me to do. And to rest. And take it easy.

So MY nurse, when I spoke to her in the morning, told me to take it easy and if they pick up again to drink a bunch of water and rest on my left side. But I was a bit worried that this would be the beginning of "bed rest", like with Emma at 35 weeks. But this would be many, many weeks of bed rest! But, thankfully, not the case.

So my plan is to take it easy. And do ONE thing each day. So yesterday, I rested alllllll day (thanks to GranJan) and saved up all my energy for my hubby's 10 year reunion last night! Today the plan is to really do nothing. :) Maybe I'll straighten the house in little spurts.

So, the contractions are back to where they used to be -- about 1 an hour. And we hope and assume that Baby Sam is staying put. He needs to grow a bunch before he gets here. :) I vow not to go back to Kohl's until I can bring Sam with me in a stroller!

26 weeks...and a day!

2009-07-07T11:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was 26 weeks! Our little one should be about 14 inches long and nearly 2 pounds! My 6 month pregnant self has been well-documented and here are a few more pix!! Just over 12 weeks to go until we meet Baby Sam!!!

Trav's Been Busy!

2009-07-05T20:00:00.000-07:00

Baby Sam's room is coming along!!!

Here is my old nightstand that he painted dark brown..and changed the flowery drawer pulls!

Rocking chair --- and Etsy nursing cover! (You can kind of see the taupe-ish wall on the right and the blue wall on the left...)

The brown stripe above his bed AND his name on the wall!

He also has new brown curtains, but I don't have a picture of those. They are cute!

A Year

2009-07-03T14:42:00.001-07:00

One year ago today I walked into an operating room and said good-bye to this teeny-tiny baby.

What a celebration, today, one year later......

Psalms 27:14 "I waited patiently for the Lord, and He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, and He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see... and trust in the Lord."

All Checked Up

2009-07-02T18:54:00.000-07:00

Today I went in for my check-up. It was complete with a glucose test -- it's not very nice to make a pregnant mama fast! But it's for a good cause... :)

I really, really love my doctor. I feel like he totally knows what he's doing and he has learned by now that I come with a list of questions and he answers every one.

My first question? Umm...so I think I'm having contractions? Not to worry. Totally normal. And I only have about one an hour. But thankfully, I had one right there in the office so he could feel it!

My second question? So....can we go ahead and schedule the c-section?? Mark your calendars!!!! Thursday, October 1, 2009!!!! I don't know what you are doing that day -- but I'm going to be having a baby!!! The doc said that with people with "thrombophilia issues" (aka MTHFR) he likes to deliver 1-2 weeks early, since theoretically, blood clots can affect the placenta. But I'm getting a few extra ultrasounds here and there to make sure Baby Sam continues to grow like he should and everything should be just fine.

Also, I recorded the heartbeat with my cell phone today!!! However, I cannot figure out how to get it on here. I'll keep working on it!

Stay tuned! Tomorrow we are taking our maternity/family pictures!!!!

Whoa, Baby!

2009-07-01T20:31:00.000-07:00

See this little bottle? This little bottle of mega folic acid pills? This little 3 month supply???? When this bottle runs out it's gonna be baby time!

25 weeks!!!!

2009-06-29T11:14:00.000-07:00

We've rolled right on into the 25 week mark! That means, based on our plan with the doctor, 14 weeks to go! Then we'll be gazing into this little boy's sweet face!

He is "a pound and a half" now, according to the web, but apparently he was that much at my last ultrasound! And he is 13 1/2 inches long! Whoa! Emma has a baby doll that is 14 inches long and it's gigantic! haha.

My job for this week, along with finding his curtains (!) is making a "To-do/To-buy list", you know, so we don't forget anything important like a car seat. ha! And also, trying to decide if we are going to do one of those 3D-4D ultrasounds at an ultrasound place -- where you can bring your whole family, they put it up on a giant TV to watch and you take home a DVD full of memories. While I realize it is totally unnecessary because I HAVE 3D pix of the little guy, it sounds like such a special experience. Once I finally convinced Trav that it was worth the moola (haha), now I have to decide if I think it's safe enough. Yes, the doctor says it is safe, but the ultrasound is not with a doctor -- although it would be at a certified place with quality machines. Oh, I don't know! I just want to get a peek at him!!! :) Has anybody done this kind of ultrasound?

Oh, and since we started "counting" days of this pregnancy on January 1 (great way to start a brand new year, I'd say!) that means on Wednesday I'll be 6 months pregnant! All of a sudden that sound like a lot!

Well, no pictures for you today, but we do have our photo shoot with Erika on Friday. :) Wahoo!

Naptime.....

A Work in Progress

2009-06-27T18:29:00.000-07:00

We had quite the painting team here today! Travis and his parents worked ALL day long on Baby Sam's room and it's almost done!!!! Meanwhile, Emma and I did our best to avoid the paint fumes. :) He has 3 taupe walls and one blue wall --and a coming soon dark brown stripe around all four walls. They also painted his nightstand (that used to be mine -- and was hand crafted by my dad!) the dark brown color. Don't worry, I worked hard too. I went to Target and chose new drawer pulls. haha. It was a fun day! Thanks for your help, everyone!

Travis getting ready to paint the stripe.

Snickers with paint on her ear!

Me, caught eating a pickle! How cliche! :)

Good News

2009-06-25T18:43:00.000-07:00

So, good news times 2!

1. My pulled muscle is BETTER!!! I am soooooooooo thankful. And happy. And relieved. My dear hubby was afraid it wouldn't heal til the baby got here! Which, by the way, if you are counting is only 14 1/2 weeks away!

2. Baby Sam's pack-n-play has shipped!!! (Which also means all my craigslisting has paid off and we sold our old stuff!) I ordered it through Walmart dot com and got it shipped for free to our store, so it should arrive soon! I mean, how cute and cozy does it get! That little part on the top left is a "newborn napper", which I am very excited about. They didn't have that when Emma was a baby!

That was our item of the week! Next week...I'm thinking curtains! :)

24 weeks!!!

2009-06-22T19:08:00.000-07:00

I almost let 24 Weeks come and go without posting!!! :)

Our baby boy is doing great!! My cough is gone -- my pulled muscle is NOT -- but in the absence of coughing it doesn't really bother me. He's been kicking and hiccuping (I think) a ton and I love every second!

We are about to buy his item of the week -- a pack-n-play!!! We got Emma's out over the weekend and it was soooo gross. It looks very, very ~~used~~ well loved, has been chewed on by the dogs and has a big stain from who knows what. We decided that Baby Sam needs a new one. :) (Emma slept in hers in our room for about the first 6 months until she moved to her room. Then we took it everywhere we went on overnights and she loved it!)

My good fried is an amazing photographer and she is going to take maternity/family pix for us next week. I'm so excited!!! And I told you I love Etsy, right? I had a friend's sister, who has an Etsy shop, make a cute shirt for Emma to wear in the pix. It is a white tee with a baby blue heart on it! I can't wait to get it in the mail!

My next OB appointment is on July 2. I tried to make it for Friday, July 3 -- but they are out for the holidays. And then? And then I remembered what happened last July 3. What a long way we've come. Last July 3 I had a d&c at 10 weeks. Oh, how I'll never forget that tiny little baby. And how I spent 4 weeks wondering if the baby was okay in there. And how I was very much so already showing. It was a very weird place to be in. Looking pregnant. Feeling pregnant. Still pregnant? I have a bracelet on my wrist that I think I have only taken off twice in the last year that has two tiny charms on it - to help me remember the two tiny babies who I will meet one day in Heaven.

So this July 3, I will be even more thankful for this kicking, rolling, hiccuping, growing, healthy baby boy in my tummy. I love you, Baby Sam!

:)

2009-06-18T11:11:00.000-07:00

I have started to realize all the stuff I'm going to need!! It's been almost 3 1/2 years since we did this whole baby thing! hhaa. I am going to check one thing off my list each week, lest it appear like a giant shopping spree.

My item of the week? A nursing cover!!! I had no idea these existed with baby Emma and was always finagling a blanket and trying to cover myself. haha. And "real" brands cost $35 -- but on Esty.com (my favorite place!) I found a handmade one for $21! It is sooooo cute, if I do say so myself. Here's a picture of the fabric. Boy colors for Sam, but girly flowers for me!

Well, I am off for my nap!

Ain't He a Cutie?

2009-06-16T19:06:00.000-07:00

Well, as it turns out, three days with a stabbing pain in my tummy is about all I can take. :) Who knew?? I decided that I'm the only one who can really speak up for this baby boy -- and I needed to make sure everything is okay in there! (Which, long story short, IT IS!!!)

(By the way, I can't get blogger to put spaces between my paragraphs....)

Yesterday on the phone, I got the nurse to say they'd "squeeze me in" today for an appointment with the doctor. But not before she gave me a little pep talk about "enjoying my pregnancy" and "not worrying about everything". Which caused me to want to say, "I do enjoy my pregnancy, but it is hard to enjoy it without worrying after losing 2 babies!!!!" But....of course, I just listened to her and waited for her to tell me what time to come in. Because she does make a good point. And I very much need her on my side. :)

So I went it for my 10 am "appointment", waited for the doctor til about 11:15 (about which I would never complain, and am just grateful for being squeezed in), was scheduled for an ultrasound at 12:30 and told to go eat lunch while I waited. Which was about when I went to the cafeteria and cried on the phone to my mom. I'm not really sure why. But part of me felt bad about imposing on the doctor and embarrassed that I'd just been there (for my regular checkup) last Thursday. But a peanut butter and jelly (and a cookie), along with a nice chat with my mom (who was playing hookie and I suspect in the pool -- I heard some splashing!) and I was back on track. Oh, and there's a maternity boutique in the building too, so that helped. :)

My 12:30 ultrasound, I was told, could take anywhere from 30 minutes to 4 hours,

because they were, indeed, "squeezing me in". It did not take that long at all!! The tech confirmed that we are REALLY having a boy!!! :) She checked everything out, it was double checked by a radiologist, and then I was sent back to my doctor who told me that the baby looks "perfect"! Perfect fluid levels, perfect blood flow (wahoo! blood flow is kind of a buzz word for a girl with MTHFR), perfect size (he weighs a pound and a half!!!), etc.

Five hours later I was headed home! :) This is where I should thank SUGAR for helping out with Emma alllllllllllll day. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! Emma is such a trooper for appointments, but five hours is a really long time!! She sure had a blast with her Sugar. :)

So, Baby Sam is GREAT. Nothing appears to be wrong. So we leave it at a pulled muscle. And ohmygoodness, I can't tell you how much it hurts. But at least now I know it isn't hurting the baby.

On the way home, I was listening to KSBJ and the DJ was talking about fear. And she was saying that God didn't make us to have a spirit of fear. And that we should go forth with bold confidence that God is taking care of us.

And that is where I am right now. I am trying to take things one day at a time and go forward with bold confidence that God is taking care of Baby Sam. Because I do believe He is!

23 Weeks!!

2009-06-15T06:20:00.001-07:00

Our little one weighs about a pound now and is almost a foot long!!! Whoa!

It's been a bit dramatic around here. I seem to have coughed so much and so hard that I pulled a muscle in my tummy. OUCH. It hurts soooo much to cough, but sometimes I get that tickle and I just have to! Especially when I'm sleeping.

As any ache or pain would, this tummy pain has gotten me a bit worried, all wrapped up in "kick counts" and wishing I had a doppler. I talked to two different nurses yesterday and they are not concerned.

I do not want to rely on baby kicks, but rather rely on my hope and faith that God will keep this little boy safe. Would you say a prayer today for our Baby Sam that he would be unaware of my discomfort and growing strong? Thanks. :)

GranJan to the rescue! She's coming over to help us grocery shop...better get showered!

Cutie Pie Blanket

2009-06-11T18:36:00.001-07:00

Okay, so remember when I said I was not a "theme" girl? Well, it turns out maybe I am -- but I am just a really picky "theme" girl. Because, really.

Isn't this just the cutest?????

It matches one of the sheets we got for his room! The plan, of the moment, is to paint the wall behind his bed this shade of blue. THEN, with Sugar's help, outline in brown paint a bigger version of 3 of these little vehicles -- not sure which ones yet. So, for example, above his bed there'd be a car, a boat and a plane. Or something. To match this super-cutie-pie blanket.

Which would appear to be a theme. Gasp!

22 1/2 weeks!!!

2009-06-11T18:13:00.000-07:00

Whoa. Whoa. An extra post. 22 and a half weeks!!! Good times.

Today I had a doctor's appointment. This appointment marked the first time I made it a whole 4 weeks between appointments. (I got spoiled with Dr. Wonderful, the specialist, who saw me every 2 weeks -- and then I had a little habit of going in in between appointments for a doppler or ultrasound. haha.) And guess what?? Now I get to go every 3 weeks! Hooray! :) I just love getting baby Sam all checked out and hearing his sweet heartbeat...and asking all my questions to my very patient doctor.

When he walked in the room today he saw my notepad of questions, picked it up, got comfy in the chair near me and said, "What do we have today?" And then he read through my notes, poking fun at me for drawing a smiley face next to "How many weeks?" as in, how many weeks before the scheduled c-section.

And then he sat with me forever (translation: Emma had enough time to finish the ridiculously large snack I packed for her, that she is allowed to start eating when the doctor walks in the room) and answered each question. Oh, and the answer to the c-section question is "at 39 weeks"!!!

While I pondered this appointment this morning, jotting down my questions and coming up with brand new questions just because I could ask them today, I realized it is easy to get all worked up and focused on what could go wrong. And forget about the part where God told us we were going to have this little one. The part where he promised me a baby boy named Sam.

I often need to clarity of a children's Bible to show me what I need to see. :) In Emma's Bible tonight, we were reading the story of Abraham and Sarah, and how they were really, very old but God promised them a child (well a huge family, really). This is what her Bible said, "Sarah didn't believe God could do what he promised. She had forgotten that when God says something, it's as good as done. (Of course, it was as easy for God to give her a baby son as it was for him to make all the stars in the sky.) Sure enough, nine months later, just as God has promised, Sarah gave birth to a baby boy.....Her dream had come true."

We love you, Baby Sam and we can't wait to meet you in 16 1/2 weeks!!! :)

22 Weeks!!!!!

2009-06-08T10:11:00.000-07:00

(There's a little bit of belly in this shot! haha.)

"At 11 inches (the length of a spaghetti squash) and almost 1 pound, your baby is starting to look like a miniature newborn. His lips, eyelids, and eyebrows are becoming more distinct, and he's even developing tiny tooth buds beneath his gums. His eyes have formed, but his irises (the colored part of the eye) still lack pigment. If you could see inside your womb, you'd be able to spot the fine hair (lanugo) that covers his body and the deep wrinkles on his skin, which he'll sport until he adds a padding of fat to fill them in. Inside his belly, his pancreas — essential for the production of some important hormones — is developing steadily." (According to Baby Center.)

I finally have a doctor's appointment this week!!! I'll be glad to check in with the doc and hear the baby's sweet heartbeat.

I don't really know when the whole 'nesting' thing is supposed to happen, but lately I have been looking around the house and wanting to change/organize/clean/redo everything! However, with my big belly and easily tired self, I feel pretty helpless in that area! Travis sure has been working hard, though!!! :) Baby Sam's room is really coming along!!! Now we are onto the Craigslist portion of the transition. Brown leather couch, anyone? ;)

All Things Boy

2009-06-06T07:54:00.000-07:00

When we go shopping these days, the boy clothes all seem to have imaginary twinkly stars floating around them. I just can't stop gazing at them!!! haha. Here is the start to baby Sam's new wardrobe.....A gift from my neighbor, Sara!

Could an outfit be any cozier???

Big Sister picked these out for her little brother. <3

When we were picking this one out, we were trying to decide between "newborn" and "0-3 months"...since our baby girl weighed NINE pounds. The girl working at the store said, "Okay, I'm deciding for you. Our clothes run big, get the newborn." Then the other girl working there said, "When are you due?" I told her October. She counted months on her hand. And the first girl said, "Girl! That's going to be a big baby! I'm switching you to the "0-3 months". ;)

A gift from Sugar and Poppa! :)

A gift from GranJan and GranDude!

This morning Trav has steamed the carpet in the baby's room. A while back, we had gotten so proud of our new puppy for not having any accidents. And then? And then we found the baby's room. It had become the puppy's secret spot to...you know. Oy. So it is cleared out, vacuumed, steamed and in much better shape. But those kind of puppy "accidents" soak down to the carpet pad and I'm pretty much disgusted. We are trying to decide if we should call Stanley Steamer for a good all over house cleaning before the baby comes OR splurge on new flooring. Hmm.....

Sam's Room

2009-06-05T18:33:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we started clearing the clutter out of the baby's room. We made some great progress!!! (Until Travis stepped on a screw and then I caught Emma's cold...)

So today, we went to Babies'R'Us! After browsing the baby boy bedding, we've come up with a theme! And by "theme", I mean brown & blue. :) I am not a big "theme" girl, so all the (very cute) themes just don't float my boat. So we are going with brown & blue!

Here are two fitted sheets that we found (one brown with blue squares and the other blue with cars and planes) and a brown oh-so-soft changing pad cover!

And here's his name for the wall!!!!! The background is white and there are blue and brown vertical stripes. Oh, the fun!

Right now his room has a great big red wall. That has to go. :) We grabbed some paint chips at the store today to see what we like! I can't wait!

Dance Party

2009-06-02T13:16:00.000-07:00

I am very thankful that our little baby decided to have a dance party for almost an hour this morning! I am so thankful because at 6 am, I woke up from an awful dream. A dream where I was having a very bad problem (pregnancy-wise) and I couldn't get anybody to listen to me! The doctor I saw just looked at my belly and said, "Well, you are about to have the baby, that's normal!" and calculated my due date as June 5. It just went on and on and I could never get any help for the baby. And dreams can feel sooooo real. But when I woke up, not only did I get a reassuring kick, I got an hour long dance party!! Thanks, Sam! God is good. :)

21 Weeks!!!

2009-06-01T05:01:00.000-07:00

Baby Sam is about 10 1/2 inches long and 12 ounces!

(That's about the size of a carrot!)

Grow, Baby, Grow!!!

In related news, I am feeling a bit better. I have the energy to face the day, but I'm already looking forward to my nap...and it's 7 am! haha. My normally very healthy eating habits were joined this weekend with ice cream!!! Yumm....It was either ice cream or Tylenol to make me feel better....It has always been my "sick food". :)

I got a lot of good baby kicks this weekend! I hope our little guy has been unaware of how I've been feeling!

Movin'

2009-05-30T16:27:00.000-07:00

Our little boy has been kickin' and rollin' a lot lately. Today he was kicking right above my belly button (which is the harder kick to feel because the placenta is right there...I usually feel him on the side) and I could feel a baby something under there! I guess it was his leg or foot. But it was this little hard spot. And Trav got to feel him too before he rolled away. So fun!

In other news, I made it 20 weeks without getting sick. But now? I caught the little lady's cold. Which is a much better choice than some kind of fevery virus...but I still feel yucky......I can't wait to get to bed. And we are watching a crazy amount of Dora. Here's to a better tomorrow! :)

The Blue Onesie

2009-05-26T13:22:00.001-07:00

When I posted Sam's name out here in the bloggy world, I wrote that I'd had that blue onesie with his name on it since August. Well, here goes...

About 2 years ago, the idea of another baby started to float around in our heads. But some pretty quick math can tell you that that plan was not God's plan. We began our journey with a pretty big (for me) road block -- I was allegedly newly found allergic to all of the pregnancy-safe antibiotics. What would I do if I got strep while I was pregnant? I'm no doctor, but it seemed there'd be no way to get rid of the strep and also keep the baby safe.

So I went in for allergy testing. I was so nervous as I left the allergist with a 10 day supply of amoxicillin and an epipen, just in case. For 10 days I took the medicine and for many of those days I worried. Was I itching? And for all of those days I was praying. A lot. Because I am quite good at fabricating symptoms, like itching. Not on purpose. (But I'm pretty sure I had meningitis in college, along with the bird flu and what's that thing you get from mosquitoes??) Anyway, every time I would get worried that maybe I was starting to itch (read: getting an allergic reaction to the amoxicillin) I would pray.

And this part that I am going to tell you, I am not even kidding. And I can't explain it. And it had never happened before.

But in the quietness of my worrisome heart, deep in prayer -- God spoke to me.

I always wondered how people knew that "God said..." or "I heard God", but I did. It wasn't out loud, my dog didn't hear it too, but I heard it. In my heart. Like no voice I've ever heard.

Seven simple words.

"Picture yourself pregnant. Picture him. Picture Sam."

And I'm 100% sure of it. And my worry -- my am I going to even get to try again worry -- vanished. I knew that I'd finish the 10 days of medicine. I knew we'd go on to have another baby. I knew it'd be okay. Because God said so. The God of all creation had spoken to me, and He'd said so.

I never dreamed how far those seven words would take me. I didn't know those seven words would carry me through a miscarriage. And then another. I didn't know they would see me through a round of testing with a very misleading and bad doctor, and then into the care of the best doctor I'd ever had. I didn't know they would have to get me through being diagnosed with MTHFR and being told that my own body was creating blood clots that were making me lose our babies.

So, back in August, about a month after my second miscarriage, I decided to take a step of faith. I knew in my heart that God would bring us a baby boy and that we would name him Sam. So I went online and ordered a baby blue onesie with "Sam" written on it. Oh, and when it came in the mail, how I ached for a baby to fill it. To wear it home from the hospital (though it is really quite big!). So I hung it up by my bed. And I saw it every day. And I prayed for Sam every day.

And now, I'm very much pregnant with a little boy. And we are naming him Sam. And all I can do is give all glory and praise to the God above who promised me this baby and put the words in my heart that I needed to hear. I know I've said it before, but I am so thankful.....

Luke 1:45 "And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what had been spoken to her by the Lord."

Romans 4:19-21 "Without becoming weak in faith he contemplated his on body, now as good as dead since he was about 100 years old, and the deadness of Sarah's womb; yet, with respect to the promise of God he did not waiver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God has promised, He was also able to perform."

Hebrews 10:23 "Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful."

HALFWAY!!!!!

2009-05-25T06:55:00.000-07:00

(Hey Mom & Dad -- How far can a dog run into the woods???)

That's right! Today we are TWENTY WEEKS along. :) That is definitely halfway!!!!!

Our Baby Sam is about ten inches all together!!!!! (That's including those kicking feet!)

And he probably weighs about 10 ounces.

Yesterday my neighbor and I went on a (slightly long) shopping trip and it appears as if I have some kind of shopping hangover. :) While to be honest, I've never had a real hangover, I can only imagine it feels something like this. I absolutely could not get out of bed this morning. Around 8:30 I had to eat something and take my vitamin, so Travis and the little lady were trying to convince me to put my feet on the ground. She said, "Come on, Mommy!" (complete with tapping her leg like she does for the dog) "Come on, Mommy! I'll show you where the breakfast table is!"

While I realize that when I was pregnant 3 years ago I was a full time teacher and on my feet all the live long day, I am just not used to that anymore!! I am so tired.......................... :) But still very happy.

Early Morning

2009-05-24T05:03:00.000-07:00

Every morning, I set the alarm a bit early. Then I get up, grab a cup of ~~coffee~~ orange juice, say a prayer and read the Bible verses that have gotten me through this past year, and that help me set aside my worry and feel at peace. And as I sit, in the stillness of the morning (Travis is usually off and going at his 24 Hour Fitness and the little lady is fast asleep) reading, thinking and praying -- Baby Sam kicks me. A lot. And when 7 o'clock rolls around, I hear a little "Mama. Mama. Mama." from the baby monitor. And I cannot believe this life I live. It's Heaven on earth, I tell ya.

Drum Roll.....................

2009-05-21T09:59:00.000-07:00

Our boy has a name!!!

Samuel Barrett Miller

Due in October!!!

*I've had this onesie since last August...

but that's another post all together!*

1 Samuel 1:27

"For this boy I prayed, and the Lord has given me my petition which I asked of Him."

19 weeks!!!

2009-05-17T18:50:00.000-07:00

Today Baby Boy and I are 19 weeks along!!! (Which could be half way, if it's like last time!!) He now has 2 onesies and a pair of cozy pajamas in his wardrobe!! Oh, and a baseball cap! Big Sister thinks his middle name should be "Peanut". Yesterday, though, I think it was "Coconut Head"...

We are officially moving out of the "Wait, was that a flutter? Did I feel something? Hmmmm..." stage and into the "Whoa! Did you feel that, too?" stage. Last night, Trav got to feel our boy kicking, too!

He is about "6 inches crown to rump", but those kicking legs looked pretty long in that ultrasound!! I'd guess he's at least 8 inches long!!!

I found out that my high school reunion is in AUGUST. Oh my. :) I'll be able to hold my plate on my belly by then, for sure!

Loving every minute.

Oh, what a week!

2009-05-14T18:13:00.001-07:00

I mean, really?? I get to shop for a BOY?????

I am a bit overwhelmed (but in a very good way)! I can't believe there is a little boy growing inside of me. Oh, and just to torture you, he has a name!!!!! But it is still under construction (read: no idea what his middle name is) so you'll have to wait. :) But it's a cute one. And I'm getting used to calling him by his name when we chat. <3

I can't believe how blessed I feel.

A Recap!

2009-05-12T19:47:00.000-07:00

Today was quite a day!!!

When we got to the office for my 10 am appointment, they were REALLY behind and there were SIX people waiting in front of me!! No big deal, really, except I was so anxious!!! When they finally called me back, the nurse took me to a curtain and said, "Go here. Take off such and such and leave on such and such and wear this robe and wait here." Easy enough. Until I peaked behind the curtain and found 8 other women waiting in the same robed state! I was not expecting to wait WITH them in my robe!!

When it was finally my turn, the technician took me back to the ultrasound room (Travis was not invited yet) and she took all the important baby measurements. She INSTANTLY knew if it was a boy or a girl and offered me the answer, but I said we should probably wait until Travis was in there. As soon as she was done with all of the measurements, she went and got Trav, brought him in and said, "You've got a little boy in there!" Then she showed us all kinds of fun stuff, including 3D shots of the baby! Amazing!!

Then a doctor came in, took a look at everything and said it all looked just right! With a ton of pictures, a CD, and a report for my doctor in my hands we were ready for part 2. (But because of our long wait, they validated my parking AND gave me the CD for free!)

Part 2 was a visit to my doctor, who confirmed that everything looked great. :)

Part 3 was a trip to the blood center where we BOTH had to get blood drawn. Sorry, Trav! He had to prove his blood type because of the whole RH- thing.

Part 4 was a trip to Chipotle. :) YUM. (Just a side note: We have come SUCH a long way since last year. Just about a year ago, Travis and I sat at a Chipotle after a very, very bad news ultrasound. Just getting a heartbeat this time at 6 weeks was an incredible thing, but to watch our baby BOY kicking, yawning and sucking his thumb right before our very eyes and then be given a HEALTHY report......God is good! We are sooooooooo thankful!)

We are thrilled beyond words to know who is in there!!! What a day! And Big Sister is pretty thrilled too! We went to Target today and she picked out a special toy for him. :)

Baby Videos

2009-05-12T19:40:00.000-07:00

Yawning!

Trying to suck his thumb!

And this is why I should NOT laugh.

(Also you can see him scratching his head)

Baby Pictures

2009-05-12T19:34:00.000-07:00

Here's our boy!Do you see his spine across the top of the picture?

This one is labeled for you. :)

Sucking his thumb!

Covering his eyes with his fists.

Cute little foot!

It's a.....................

2009-05-12T16:21:00.001-07:00

BOY!!!!!!

More later.....

18 weeks!!!

2009-05-11T10:24:00.000-07:00

Today marks 18 weeks!!!! The baby is about 5 1/2 inches long! Emma has a baby doll that is 5 1/2 inches long that I've been waiting to show as my "this is how big our baby is" example. But now I can't find it! haha. I'll look harder tonight.

TOMORROW is our big day. :) My appointment is at 10, but with a lengthy ultrasound (Yay!), a doctor's visit, and blood work, it'll take us a while. So all you fine folks will have to WAIT a bit.

Here are two shots of me at 18 weeks.

Anyone think I'll be able to fit between these 2 trees in October? :)

IT'S A..............................

2009-05-10T11:17:00.000-07:00

......picture of my favorite breakfast!

I can't have any milk with my breakfast because the dairy affects my folic acid absorption -- and that is when I take my mega dose pill. So I have to find other things to eat! Underneath all that fruit you'll find 2 whole wheat pancakes, topped with peanut butter. (You simply MUST try a pancake with peanut butter someday. You'll need a dab of syrup, too.) YUM!

So I got to see the baby!

2009-05-06T13:30:00.000-07:00

I have a pattern. In this pattern, I stay very calm, cool and collected about all things baby for 2-3 weeks after my last appointment. And as my appointment approaches, I start to worry. And maybe even panic. :) And that was yesterday. And I feel a little bad about said panicking, but then I tell myself that 2008 was a very hard year -- and if I need a little extra attention from the doctor, well that's OK.

So I was worried. Worried that I couldn't feel the baby like I used to, worried that the movements I was feeling were itty bitty contractions. And worried because my specialist (remember Dr. Wonderful?) had told me he saw a little issue that could cause early labor. So all added together, that was a lot to think about.

So I went to see the doctor. And I was expecting him to maybe be busy, grouchy, and aware that I didn't need to be there. But he was wonderful! When he walked in, I asked him if Dr. Wonderful had warned him that I might be a bit high maintenance. He laughed and said that I was not in that category yet. Well, I got to hear the baby's sweet heartbeat on the doppler and then he did an ultrasound to check that little issue - that appears to be a non-issue and probably does not need to be advertised on a public blog! hahaa. But in the checking of said issue, I got to see the baby! Only the baby's head and one waving arm -- which is probably good, because I would really prefer to find out the whole boy/girl answer with the baby's daddy! Not that I wouldn't have peaked.....Trav had given me permission to peak...No such luck!!!!!

So, one crazy busy day later, I feel very relieved once again. Everything is just fine!! (And at 17 weeks, baby movements come and go since there is still so much room in there!)

And I am fairly certain I can make it until Tuesday before getting all worried again.

And what I do know, deep down, is that I should have more faith that I did yesterday. Because God has it all under control. That is hard to tell myself in the middle of all the worry, but afterwards it makes lots of sense. :)

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.

17 weeks!!

2009-05-04T11:03:00.001-07:00

Today we are 17 weeks!!! Somehow, in the blink of an eye, 17 weeks sounds like A LOT! The baby is about FIVE INCHES LONG and that's not even including those kicking legs. AND, according to my weekly email, the baby can hear me now and might respond to loud noises!! I bet ~~our crazy barking dogs~~ Nelly-Belle and Penny are making their presence known to the baby with every falling leaf outside. :)

A week from tomorrow is our big ultrasound. I am so excited. Any guesses? We were at a friend's baby shower on Saturday (pictured above) and I talked with 3 different people who claimed to be EXCELLENT baby gender guessers. But, two of them said boy and one said girl. Wouldn't it have been great if they'd all agreed and I could go baby clothes shopping!?!?

16 weeks!!

2009-04-27T18:14:00.000-07:00

Today marks 16 weeks!!!!! Here is an except from my Pregnancy Weekly email:

"How your baby's growing:Get ready for a growth spurt. In the next few weeks, your baby will double his weight and add inches to his length. Right now, he's about the size of an avocado: 4 1/2 inches long (head to rump) and 3 1/2 ounces. His legs are much more developed, his head is more erect than it has been, and his eyes have moved closer to the front of his head. His ears are close to their final position, too. The patterning of his scalp has begun, though his locks aren't recognizable yet. He's even started growing toenails. And there's a lot happening inside as well. For example, his heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, and this amount will continue to increase as your baby continues to develop."

We are 15 days from our big boy/girl ultrasound!! I am so excited to see our baby! I got so spoiled with my first doctor and it's been WEEKS since I've seen the baby!! :)

And here's a shot of me at the park with the little lady on Saturday. I know, I know. It's not a good side shot, but considering I've been in my PJs since about noon today, that is all you are going to get!!

15 weeks!!!

2009-04-20T18:20:00.000-07:00

Today I had my 15 week check-up!! At long last..... :)

Emma and I got to hear sweet Baby's heartbeat, which was much easier to find this time since the baby is getting bigger.....about 4 inches "crown to rump"!

Tomorrow I get to call and schedule the BIG ultrasound for 18 weeks. Anybody have any boy or girl guesses??? By the time I celebrate my 28th birthday, we should know!!!

15 weeks!

This is a picture of me holding 4 inches of measuring tape against my tummy. :)

14 weeks!

2009-04-13T12:40:00.000-07:00

Today we are 14 weeks and Baby is the size of a lemon (or about 3 1/2 inches, not including legs.) The baby now has functioning kidneys and can urinate!! Whoa! While the info I read tells me that I can't feel the baby yet, I can!! The other day (after a while in the bluebonnets) I did a bunch of sneezing. And after the 10th sneeze of so, I felt a tiny KICK and then felt the baby roll into some new position. Crazy!!! Not sure if that meant the baby liked my sneezes or was really ready for me to stop. :)

This is NOT our baby, but it is an ultrasound of a baby at 14 weeks.

And here is me. :)

I don't have any idea why my tummy gets so big, so fast, but I think it is cute!

Grow, baby, grow!

)

13 (and a half?) weeks!

2009-04-08T18:01:00.000-07:00

Monday marked 13 weeks for me, aka the start of my 2nd trimester!!! (If you have been paying really close attention, I used to start a new "week" on Tuesdays, but I have changed it to Mondays because that is when my weekly emails arrive telling me I am a week farther along! And they are from my doctor's office, so I figure they have to be right!)

Our little baby is about the size of a "medium shrimp", but I didn't find a picture of that because it sounds a bit gross. :) But, the baby should be about 3 whole inches from head to bottom!!! Grow, baby, grow!!!

My spoiled-by-my-specialist self got antsy waiting 4 whole weeks for my check-up, so I went in on Monday just to hear the heartbeat. It took the nurse 2 tries and about 10 whole minutes and then a few minutes of the doctor trying, but he found it! Our little baby's heart is just going strong!!!

I think I might have a bit more energy these days and I am definitely less queasy. :) So thankful to be in the 2nd trimester for so many reasons!!!!

Bye-Bye, Lovenox

2009-04-01T18:41:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday was it. Yesterday was my last dose of Lovenox. Don't get me wrong -- I have almost 2 whole boxes of it sitting on my dresser. And oh, how I want to keep taking it. Oh, how it reassures me. But my 2 (well respected and highly recommended) doctors agree that 12 weeks is my cut-off. In fact, I believe that neither one ever thought I needed it. But rather, that peace of mind is worth a lot and it couldn't hurt.

And do you know what? The Lovenox is not what has been protecting our baby. God has been protecting our baby. The same God who brought us Emma without Lovenox. Without baby aspirin. Without a mega dose of folic acid. And likely without folic acid at all. God wanted us to have Emma. So He kept Emma safe. And He's been keeping this baby safe. And I believe that He still will. Even with no Lovenox.

But it is still so hard to have it sitting on my dresser. It is now 45 minutes past my "go time" to take it. And I haven't. And I won't.

Back in high school, a friend told me that when you see the rays of sun streaming through the clouds, it means God is protecting over you. She probably would never remember telling me that, but it's funny the few conversations you remember out of the thousands you have in high school.

And I have remembered that statement ever since. And quite honestly, I see sunbeams pouring through the clouds in moments when I need a reminder that God is watching out for me. Like on my way to the bumped-up-to-an-earlier-time-because-we-were-worried ultrasound a few weeks ago. Or like when I'm picking up the dry cleaning but I'm really, secretly worrying about the baby. Or like tonight, on our way home from Walmart on the night when I can't take any more Lovenox.

God is protecting over us.

Emma has a very sweet new Bible called The Jesus Storybook Bible. This is what we read tonight....

"Because God loves us with a Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love -- Heaven is breaking through! He is sending us a Light from Heaven to shine on us like the sun...to guide our feet into the way of peace."

12 weeks!

2009-03-30T18:09:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I will officially be 12 weeks!! According to my weekly emails, our baby is about 2 inches (from "crown to rump"...not including legs)

.....or about the size of a lime!

OR....about the size of......

Emma's doll "Boots". heheee.....Grow, baby, grow!!!!!

Pictures

2009-03-24T14:52:00.000-07:00

I could probably be all computer-savvy and scan these pictures, but it is so much easier just to take pictures of these pictures. ;) So here ya go:

After my ultrasound, I wasn't sure I was going to get a picture to take home, so... while left alone in the room, I snagged this secret shot.....(it had been left up on the screen...I did NOT do an ultrasound on myself! haha.)

You can see the head, one of the hands and two little feet!!!

And then I did get a picture to take home!!! (Head on the left, feet on the right.)

The doc said everything looks GREAT, good heartbeat, Baby is measuring a few days bigger than my "week 11" mark. Grow, baby, grow!! :) My every-two-week ultrasounds are coming to an end....and my next one will be at 18 weeks......and it'll be the boy/girl one!!

And when I got my blood drawn? It actually LOOKED thin. They usually have a hard time getting a good vein and filling the tubes. It was flowing fast today and looked actually different. Maybe it was just my mind playing tricks on me.....Weird......!

So, overall, a very good appointment! Four weeks to go! ;)

Great appointment

2009-03-24T11:54:00.001-07:00

I don't have much time to update you now, seeing as how it is naptime now or never! But the appointment went VERY well, my spoiled belly and I got ANOTHER ultrasound and I got to see the baby dancing around again. So thankful. The doctor says everything looks great!!! Someday, when I open my own OB office (not really) I am going to provide snacks for the pregnant ladies who are there for three hours and well into lunch. ;) More later.....

11 weeks!

2009-03-23T18:56:00.001-07:00

I will be 11 weeks pregnant tomorrow and our baby is about the size of a fig, which if you are not up on your fruits, is about an inch and a half! I am still mostly queasy -- most of the afternoon and my Lovenox is starting to take its toll on my skin. Ouch! But it is ALL so totally worth it. Tomorrow is my first appointment with my brand new OB! I am not anticipating an ultrasound -- I think I have been spoiled at my specialist's office and I might not get another one for a while. :) I'll update when I can!

Cravings!

2009-03-19T19:27:00.000-07:00

We stopped by HEB tonight for some more of my favorite cereal....and I could not get out the door without a hot rotisserie chicken and a watermelon. And I didn't go to HEB for those things....but once I was there -- I had to have them. Mmmmmm.....I was eating the chicken before I even got my shoes off when I got into the house! I know! CHICKEN! A worker at HEB also saw me looking around in the "healthy food" section where you can fill your own bags full of nuts or pretzels. She told me I could have a sample. Oh really? She said I could have AS MANY samples as the baby wanted. ;) I ate a pretty yummy peanut butter coated pretzel.....

How big is our baby?

2009-03-17T05:05:00.000-07:00

According to my weekly emails from Baby Center, our little baby is about the size of a kumquat!

I had no idea what that was....so I googled it. Look how cute! ;) I am 10 weeks pregnant today and oh, so thankful. It is very, very easy to get scared or worried, but our message at church on Sunday was about how God is bigger than our fears. And I really do believe that. And while I google kumquats, I certainly do not google "MTHFR" or anything else that could send me into a worrisome tailspin. :) I was 10 weeks "pregnant" the day I had my d&c over the summer, even though the baby stopped growing around 6 weeks. I just know God is protecting over this little one and he/she is growing big and strong! ....And I've got the all-day-queasies to show for it. ;)

"Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23

Little One, Updated!

2009-03-10T14:57:00.001-07:00

We saw our baby dancin' today. :) It was quite a surprise!!! Last time we had an ultrasound, Baby was a bit bean-shaped. Today our baby was baby-shaped!!! And the second the ultrasound started, we saw our baby just dancing away! It was amazing. Feet kicking, arms waving. Heart going strong -- even faster than last time, probably because the baby was getting a workout in there. ;) Emma came with us this time, so she got to see her little sibling dance, too. :)

The doctor congratulated us and sent us on our merry way, with a referral to a new OB. He promises that this new doctor is the best. :) I'll go there in 2-3 weeks.

Every once and a while, I'll ask Emma if she thinks the baby is a boy or a girl. Today she said, "It's a girl. It has to be a girl because I am a girl!" haaha...We'll see!

Here's a picture of our little baby. The head is facing down with legs up in the top right corner. What a cutie!!! And here's a picture of me...............

Nine weeks!

Tuesday @ 2:30

2009-03-09T04:59:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow at 2:30 we get another peek at our little baby. (I am really getting spoiled!!!) This is our last appointment with this doctor...but I trust him, so I know he will put me in good hands with the next doctor. But I am trying to think of all of the questions I can possibly ask tomorrow. He's not going to get rid of me easily! ;) As always, ultrasounds make me a combination of excited and nervous. Your thoughts and prayers for us at 2:30 would be greatly appreciated!!!

Yesterday as Emma and I were playing in her sandbox, I had a thought. We were putting sand into the funnel and watching it slide through the little opening and down into a bucket. But every once and a while, the sand would stop and I'd dig my finger down into the funnel and pull out a pebble. Once the pebble was out, the sand flowed again and the fun continued. This happened a lot. Maybe we have cheap sand! :)

Anyway, as we sat in our newly-stocked-with-fun-toys backyard, hundreds of bubbles floating around us from her bubble machine (aren't birthdays great?), I pictured God. I pictured God in Heaven looking down on me and watching ever so closely. And protecting our baby. Because, from what I understand, all it would take is one little blood clot to affect our tiny baby. But I believe He's up there, watching the pathway to the baby and taking out the "pebbles". I believe that He cares that much and knows that tiny of a detail of what is going on inside of me.

Psalm 139 13-18
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.

Looking Pregnant

2009-03-01T15:30:00.001-08:00

I have always looked pregnant very early. With Emma, at 8 weeks, I had to tell my coworkers because it was getting obvious. And over the summer, I had a lady ask me how far along I was -- at FIVE weeks. And I do realize that our little baby is kidney bean sized right now, but my tummy is much bigger than that!

This is the conversation I had yesterday at the maternity store:

Lady: Oh, how far along are you?

Me: (embellishing) 8 weeks.

Lady's Pregnant Daughter: (sticking her head out of a dressing room) Oh, you are so little and cute and I'm so big!!! And I'm just 29 weeks.

Me: Oh, you look great! You are supposed to be getting bigger!

Lady's Pregnant Daughter: But look at you!

Me: I am only 8 weeks pregnant!

Lady's Pregnant Daughter: WHAT?!?!?!?! EIGHT WEEKS?!?!?! I thought you said eight months!!! Are you sure?

Me: Yup. Pretty sure about this.

Translation -- Being 8 months pregnant was feasible, but being only 8 weeks pregnant was jaw-dropping. ;) Really??

Now maybe you understand why I need maternity pants at 8 weeks!

Oh, Happy Day!

2009-02-27T10:58:00.000-08:00

Our sweet baby is doing so well!!!! Thank you over and over for all of the well wishes and prayers you have sent our way. The baby is measuring 7 weeks 4 days, which is just right and the precious heartbeat has gotten so fast and strong!!! It was 164 today!!!

My doctor is a dream come true. He is so very wonderful. We were at his satellite office today, which as it turns out, is not that far away and quite near Travis's office. Since the office is soooo small (as compared to the big city main office), the doctor did the ultrasound HIMSELF! Which meant I could SEE the screen and he could talk us through it. And we could snag a video with our camera. (see below)

Since I went in for an early appointment today, I managed to snag one extra week with Dr. Wonderful before I head off to a regular OB. And I will definitely go to his little office again! He is so caring and understanding and never makes me feel silly or crazy when I get worried -- or when he has to squeeze me in between appointments on a Friday.

He also said the spotting does not appear to be baby-related, but probably just irritation from the progesterone, etc. He said I do not have to take it easy -- so Emma and I are so headed to Target this afternoon. I've hardly left the house all week!

On the way home we grabbed a quick bite to eat--and I really celebrated with a cup of Sprite! haha. Oh yeah, it was a big day.

Here is a video of our little baby. (Pause the music at the bottom of my blog so you can hear the video.) At the beginning of the video, the doc is joking about how he only lets you hear the heartbeat twice, since I was asking for a third time. Then you can hear a wonderful, strong heartbeat for a bit. It comes and goes a little, but as he explains that is only because of my breathing and slight movements of the ultrasound. At the end he starts talking about my uterus..haha...so if you don't want to hear that -- beware! But I don't know how to edit the clip. ;)

We also came home with some cute little pictures. I saw baby feet today, y'all!

This is the milestone we so hoped for when I was pregnant over the summer. There aren't really words to express how joyfully happy I am right now.

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Ephesians 3:20,21

Friday @ 10:15

2009-02-26T08:20:00.001-08:00

My next ultrasound was scheduled for next Wednesday afternoon. I called the nurse this morning to ask her about my continued (and a tiny bit worse) spotting. She still assured me that it is totally, totally normal and common, and to wait for my Wednesday appointment. But when I told her that last time I was pregnant, I spent 4 weeks being "pregnant" without a baby growing inside, she squeezed me in for tomorrow.

So, tomorrow at 10:15 I get to check on the baby!! And nurse Maria is my new best friend. The appointment is at my doctor's second office, so I might have to pack an overnight back because it is so far away. (Not really, but it's far!)

I hope and pray for an almost 8 week baby tomorrow with a stronger, faster heartbeat. <3

It's easy to worry....

2009-02-22T18:21:00.000-08:00

I think we could all agree that it is easy for me to worry after 2 miscarriages. Right? But deep, deep down I know that God has a plan for us. He knows how long we will have this baby with us and His plan is the best plan. And this baby has been part of God's plan from the very beginning.

God is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine. Eph 3:20

But when the spotting starts back up again - I worry. Even though the doctor says it is totally normal and not to worry. And even though, that too, is part of the plan. Because, once apon a time in February 2008, the spotting got worse and it was all over.

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this. Psalms 37: 3-5

And when it is time for the Lovenox and I sit, ready with needle in hand, unable to do it for minutes on end, I worry. Am I doing the right thing? Do I need this? Is there any way for this medicine to hurt the baby? And I know it is going to hurt.

Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. Romans 4: 18 – 22

It is so hard for me to take all of these medicines. I will do anything and everything to keep this baby growing inside of me. But I don't want to do too much. And I don't want to do anything that will risk the baby's health. But I need to trust my doctor who tells me that all of these things won't hurt the baby. It's just that there are so many things.....

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.Romans 15:13

Will you say a prayer for this baby and for me?

Welcome back, veggies.

2009-02-20T10:30:00.000-08:00

Look what I found!!! V8 makes SOUP! Two full servings of veggies in every box and no preservatives!!! I'm so happy.......
PS. Alida, I am going to saute up some veggies tonight! Thanks for the tip. :)

Please never pass the chicken.

2009-02-18T12:42:00.001-08:00

When I was pregnant with my daughter I was never queasy or anything like that. I always said that if I got "morning sickness" I'd be happy because it would be a symptom!!! Well, I guess what I have is more of an afternoon sickness! And it really does make me happy! haha. I spend much of the afternoon with a little yucky feeling and I am VERY hard to please when it comes to dinner. :)

On Valentine's Day we were eating fajitas, and I could almost swear that I saw the piece of chicken like as a real chicken, wings, feathers, and all. No more chicken for me, please. I was SO grossed out. ;) However, today at Chickfila, I discovered that if the chicken is fried, and delightfully camouflaged in a crispy covering, I am okay with it. Like it is wearing a costume...and maybe not really chicken. But straight chicken? No thanks. :)

When we were trying to get pregnant, I was a vegetable eating maniac! But now, I have to really force myself to eat my veggies. I have gotten so picky!!! V8 Juice here I come.....!

Enjoying every minute...even the queasy ones.