So this is my other blog. :) My other blog to keep myself -- and anyone else who might be so curious -- informed about our journey.
Our journey for another baby.
We have one precious daughter, who is a little over 2 and a half. She is amazing.
My second pregnancy ended just one day after I got the positive pregnancy test. February 29, 2008. Fortunately, a date that I will technically only have to remember every 4 years. The exact date, at least. My doctor said it was common and to just try again.
My third pregnancy began shortly after in April. I showed my husband the pregnancy test without even a smile. I was terrified. The joy I felt during my first pregnancy was replaced with dread. But, as things progressed and my blood tests showed ever increasing numbers, I began to find that joy again. Until ultrasound after ultrasound never found a heartbeat. Eight ultrasounds later, on July 3, 2008, I had a d&c to help my confused body out.
And we waited. And waited. And my doctor said he couldn't really help me at that point and sent me to a Reproductive Endocrinologist. Long story short, or perhaps a topic for another post, that doctor was very, very bad. He gave me both a wrong and a missed diagnosis.
Thanks to a dear friend, I found a new RE and he is wonderful. I can't say enough good things about him. I trust him totally.
So here's my scoop. I have something called MTHFR. (You know, the genetic blood clotting disorder my other RE failed to tell me about.) Basically, my body does not store folic acid well, which for whatever reason, means that I am really good at forming little blood clots. During the first trimester of a pregnancy, these tiny blood clots cut off the supply to a baby, essentially "starving" the baby. And I have 2 genetic mutated genes, which work together to make my problem more serious.
However, by taking a baby aspirin every day along with a mega dose of folic acid and B vitamins, it is possible to off-set the likelihood of forming a blood clot. The baby aspirin will thin my blood and the huge dose of folic acid will "flood my system" with folic acid, in an attempt to make sure that I'll always have some in me.
So, after extensive testing, lots of waiting, lots of praying, and a hysteroscopy to remove a polyp in my uterus--it is time to try again. :)
Which brings me to the title of this other blog. With Faith. If there is anything that I have learned in this journey, it is to trust in God and have faith. I never dreamed that I'd ever have a miscarriage. Let alone two. But through these miscarriages, I have grown in my faith in God and my relationship with Jesus -- because there is nothing more (or better) that I can do than to have faith.
My daughter? My healthy, smart, wonderful daughter? She is a miracle. Because I have unknowingly had this MTHFR issue all my life. I had this issue when I was pregnant with her. During my first, normal, full-term, resulting-in-a-nine-pound-baby-girl pregnancy. The fact that she is here is a miracle. And the fact that she is healthy is a miracle. A pregnancy with little or no folic acid? Oh my. Thank you, God.
I know that God wanted us to have our daughter. And God is so much bigger than MTHFR. And while I will take my baby aspirin, my mega folic acid pill and my prenatal vitamins every single day without missing a beat, all the while eating all the fruits and veggies I can possibly swallow -- I know that it is not up to me. And that God will bless us with another child in His timing. He has a plan for us that I cannot possibly understand (because in my plan, I'd have all three of my babies right now) and I can rest in His plan.
So this is my other blog. Thank you to anybody out there who wants to pray for our family. We want so very much to have another baby. We know our daughter will make such a great big sister. And we know that God has a plan. And we are excited to try again. And take a leap of faith.