Birthday Boy!!!

"Baby" Sam's real birthday isn't 'til Wednesday, but we had his party today! My, how times flies!!!! He's a walking, talking, dare-I-say toddler now! Love this boy!!! One year ago today we were in a very scary place, waiting for him to be born with what were surely surgery-requiring heart defects. I will forever and ever give thanks to God for making our dear baby boy healthy!!!!! Happy almost birthday, Sammy-Sam!!!

Send Love to Cohen

There is a little baby out there that I can't get out of my mind today. He was born yesterday and his name is Cohen. I've been reading his mama's blog for a few months. And he has a long road ahead of him. He was born with some heart trouble and will probably have his first heart surgery later this week.........

You can click here to "send love to Cohen"! Scroll down past the first story and you'll see his updates.

Or you can click here to get to his mama's blog.

Oh, it takes me back. Back to what is was like to have my newborn baby taken straight to the NICU and seeing him all hooked up. Back to what we thought we were in store for. Even though we had a very happy ending to Sam's story, it still brings back all those scary feelings. I can only imagine how Cohen's family is feeling right now.

Please say a prayer for Baby Cohen!!!

2009

I have to say, I have grown fond of the year 2009.

To be perfectly honest, 2008 was notably hard. In 2008, we said good-bye to two little babies that we never got to meet. In 2008, we faced sadness that we never expected to happen to us. Twice.

But 2009??

I am lucky enough to say that I have had almost a full year with my Baby Sam already! I'm the lucky one who carried him for 9 months...starting in January of 2009. And looking back on this past year, I know I am so blessed and so thankful.

He's growing so fast. He's already 3 months old. He's nearly doubled his birth weight! And I'm trying to savor every moment. Yes, I'm tired. Yes, he wakes up a lot at night..... but that's what I'm here for! Yes, I missed dinner tonight because baby boy was tired and hungry and needed to be cuddled and fed. But there's nothing more important that I could possibly do.

There were two weeks before he was born when I was afraid I might lose him. Or at the very least, I thought I was going to be by his side through open heart surgery. Heart surgery, y'all. Those are scary moments I don't often relive.

But in 2009? In 2009, I witnessed a miracle. The God above healed our baby boy. He made his heart perfect. Our little Baby Sam with at least one, maybe 3 heart defects was born as healthy as could be!

In 2009, we added a fourth stocking to our mantle. And I get to sort clean laundry into four stacks. And my cup runs over. So with great joy, I welcome 2010. And I wonder what the year will hold! Happy New Year!!!

First Christmas!

Our Baby Sam is about to turn 3 months old!! He is getting so big (probably 18 pounds now!), smiles ALL the time and sometimes you can get a laugh out of him. :) We can't wait to celebrate his first Christmas with him!

My Grandma Herbie sent out her yearly Christmas letter and she always includes family updates. I loved her mention of Sam, so I thought I'd blog about it. She wrote, "Our newest greatgrand (#8) Samuel was born Sept. 29th to Erica and Travis. He is our miracle baby, having been diagnosed to surely need heart surgery at birth, emerged a bouncing happy 9 pound 12 ounce strapping healthy guy."

Sometimes I forget how close we really thought we were to heart surgery for our little guy. But then I hear a similar story or reread my blog posts from September and it all comes flooding back. And I am so thankful. Our Baby Sam sure is our miracle!!!

Merry Christmas!

A message for Baby Sam?

Hey Bloggy World. :) Baby Sam is doing GREAT. I have a favor to ask! I found out that I can make my blog into a book, so that I can show Sam when he gets older. If you followed Baby Sam's story, read the blog, prayed for him, spread the word...can you please leave a comment for him? That way he'll know all of the wonderful people who were by his side when he was born. Thanks!!

Little Pumpkin

Great News

Well, to be honest, I felt a little silly today -- but I found a real rooftop and I shouted from it. Because we had Baby Sam's 2 week heart check today and there is nothing wrong with his heart!!!!! So, after having parked on the roof of the parking garage, I fulfilled my promise and I shouted thanks to God for healing my baby boy. Because Baby Sam is healthy!!!

The only thing they could find at all was a thing/valve/hole similar to the ductus (which closed while he was in the NICU) that usually closes within weeks, instead of days. Sam's is open still and perhaps a bit large. But this is not something that would cause him any trouble as a child, even if it stays open. If we had not already been looking for problems, this would not have been detectable just with regular baby checkups. IF it stays open, then perhaps in three or four years, we can get it fixed, nonsurgically. But nobody is worried.

So our boy got the all clear today! We go back in April just to triple check things, but that is so far away from right now that I can't even schedule the appointment yet!

Feeling so blessed by my family of four.....

Check-up

Tomorrow our sweet Baby Sam goes for a follow-up echo cardiogram at the children's hospital. Please say a prayer for our little baby's continued good health!

Sweet Boy

My Heart

There was a moment in the hospital when Baby Sam was crying. It was only my second or third time to even see my sweet boy. As I held him in my arms, I talked to him. He stopped crying, opened his little eyes and looked at me. And I could see it in his eyes. He knew me. It was like he was saying, "Oh, there you are. I know you. I know that voice." He stared at me for a couple of minutes before drifting back off to sleep. Oh, the love.

Thank you for praying for Baby Sam.

I said before that I don't know if it has really "hit met" yet. That our baby is here. That our baby is healed. Yesterday, I needed to go back to Dr. Fancy for a checkup for myself. Before I got to the exam room I stopped off at the restroom. And it hit me. The last time I was in that restroom I was looking in the mirror at my swollen, teary-eyed, mascara-stained face, moments after being told that my baby's heart looked dilated and that there might be something wrong. But this time? This time as I looked in that mirror I realized. I realized that while Dr. Fancy was right and there was something wrong with my baby's heart, he has been healed. And he is here. And he is healthy. And as I made my way back to the exam room and sat waiting, I heard a baby's doppler heartbeat through the wall in the room next door. I am so glad that my baby is here.

Thank you for flooding the gates of Heaven with your prayers.

Today our sweet Sam is one week old. This is what I hoped and prayed for, but he wasn't "supposed" to be home with us yet. At least according to the doctors. He was "supposed" to be in the NICU waiting for heart surgery for an undecided number of defects. But he's home. I'm "supposed" to be pumping every three hours for our baby so he can be fed in the NICU. But I get to nurse him whenever he's hungry.

Thank you for spreading the word and getting people from all over to pray for him.

Yesterday, the NICU decided it would not allow children under 12 in to visit during flu season. And while this sounds like a very smart idea (!!) this would have been sad for Emma. But now she gets to hug and kiss him whenever she wants. Because he is home.

Thank you for your thoughts, your words, your comments, and your support.

Sometimes I can't believe that it's all real. That our Baby Sam is here. I always thought he was my miracle in the first place just because of my MTHFR, but I never imagined he'd be part of something so big! I am so amazed to be by his side as he is a miracle. God has big plan for our boy and this is just the beginning. I believe God promised me this child a long time ago, this very child, and I am in awe that he is here. To God be all the glory!!

From the very most bottom part of my heart, thank you all (yes, you in the bloggy world) for your love, support, and most importantly for your prayers. We are blessed beyond measure.

Home Sweet Home

I'm writing this blog from my bedroom, sitting on a recliner, INCHES away from my brand new baby boy as he sleeps. We are HOME and Baby Sam got to come with us!!!!!

Our baby boy -- the baby with one, two or three possible heart defects -- is perfect! The doctors could not find anything wrong with him! He completed a 4 day stay in the NICU and they sent us on our merry way!

This is what I hoped, dreamed and prayed for. Healing! I'm not sure if it has totally hit me yet.....

Baby Sam had hundreds...and I'd even venture to say thousands by the time you add up all the church groups!...praying for him! Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for spreading the word about our baby boy and for praying for him.

I 100% believe that God healed our baby boy!

From the Rooftops

Happy Birthday, my sweet Baby Sam. What a day it has been!!! ....

We arrived at the hospital this morning around 5 am, got all prepped and by about 7:45 I was in the operating room awaiting my epidural and the doctor to begin! They brought Travis in and we waited behind the blue curtain on pins and needles. After several minutes, Dr. Fancy said, "Here comes Baby!" And at 8:10 am our baby boy was born CRYING. It was the most beautiful sound in the entire world, because it meant he could breathe!!! And let's just say, good thing for my waterproof mascara.

They took him instantly away. Travis had snapped a picture of his first second on the outside, but I didn't get to see him yet. Travis followed Baby Sam out with the NICU team to get all checked out and every once and a while, when the door opened, I could hear his precious cries. So I lay there, praying to the God above that Sam would be okay, and listening to Dr. Fancy direct another doctor on how to close me up.

Shortly after, they wheeled Baby Sam back into the OR, and for maybe 15 precious seconds I got to touch his head and talk to him before they took him to the NICU. And he was BEAUTIFUL! (Or am I supposed to say handsome?)

I got sent to recovery for 2 hours, while grandparents, my neighbor Sara and Travis all took turns gazing at our precious boy. It was hard to be patient. All I had to go on were his little footprints that had been handed to me by a nurse. Well, maybe not so little -- did I mention nine pounds 12 ounces?? 20.75 inches long!

When I got my real room, the first nurse told me I had to wait eight MORE hours to see my baby. But then my new nurse told me eight hours since surgery. Four o'clock couldn't come soon enough.

Sam and I were both surrounded by so much wonderful family today. Down to see Sam. Up to see me. Repeat. But, I think, Baby Sam has had someone with him this whole time!

Fast foward to the really good stuff. Sam had his echo cardiogram today. We waited HOURS for the results, but here goes:

The coarctation that the original cardiologist saw for sure? Can't be seen in Baby Sam's heart anymore.

The arch in his aorta that might have been too small, requiring open chest surgery? Is in the normal range for size.

The valve that might have been closing improperly? Is fine.

We aren't in the clear yet, but FIND ME A ROOFTOP, because I promised to shout from it! God answered our prayers. God answered YOUR prayers. The wonderful NICU nurse that was in charge of Sam all day said it is "likely" that he'll be able to go home with us and that he is treating him like a "normal" baby who is just hanging out in the NICU.

The things in question at this point, which will likely be answered by another echo on Thursday are that 1) his ductus (the valve that should close after birth) is a little large, but could quite possibly just be from being born, as it is a common sight in newborns. 2) The right side of his heart still looks a bit dilated, but nobody seems to concerned at this point.

So with this news, they took him off the warmer, wrapped him up, and started letting people hold him!!! I've been pumping and he's been drinking that from a bottle along with some formula until my supply is greater. The NICU nurse imagines that maybe I'll get to actually nurse him tomorrow. Wouldn't that be great!?

My mom is here on my hospital room couch and Trav is down with Baby Sam. And we are all about to go to sleep. It has been a wonderful and crazy day. I can't express enough my thanks to all of you for your prayers, to my family (and Sara) for their help today and to the God above who has answered our prayers. Thank you, God, for a healthy baby boy!!! May he continue in good health and join our little family at home soon.

Sweet (almost) Birthday Boy

Well tomorrow is the long awaited BIG DAY. :) I think we are all packed and as prepared as can be! Check facebook or the twitter on the side of the blog for updates! We'll post pics when we can, but it might be a pretty busy day. :)

I don't really have the profound words to express myself tonight, so I'll direct you back to this. I still believe it!

I'm praying and boldly asking for the powerful hand of Jesus to heal our baby!

Belly Pic & Twitter

In case you ever wondered what a ten pound baby looks like when he's laying sideways across his mama, here you go! :)

It is getting soooo close to Sam's birthday!!

In an effort to keep y'all updated on Tuesday when he's born, I started a twitter account that I'll be able to update from my phone. You can read these little updates on the right side of my blog, just under the I Heart Baby Sam button.

It's hard to describe what's going on in my head right now. I am so very happy to meet our baby boy, but I have to admit I'm scared, too. Please keep praying for Baby Sam!!! We love our boy so much.

Psalm 139:13-18

"For you formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them. How precious are Your thoughts on me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand."

TWO DAYS!

Just in case you were wondering, we are still here and have TWO DAYS til Baby Sam. We have a big long list of things to get done before our sweet boy gets here, so I haven't gotten to blog much. BUT, I promise to get you one more belly picture before the big day. Cuz nobody is going to want a belly picture AFTER the big day, that's for sure! ;)

Target

Today the little lady and I decided to lay low and take it easy. I kept her home from school because everywhere I look, someone has the flu. If there's anything I can do to keep her healthy to meet her baby brother, I have to do it! Here's a little portion of our Target trip today.

Nice Lady: Whoa! You must be ready!

Me: Yup! Almost. 5 more days!

Nice Lady: Ohmygoodness. Are you having two?

Me: Nope. Just one big boy! Almost 10 pounds.

Checkout Girl: Is he heavy??

Me: I guess so.

Nice Lady: Has he dropped yet?

Me: Hmmm...I don't think so. He's laying sideways. (I point to his head and feet across my belly.)

Checkout Girl: Oh yeah. I can tell!

Nice Lady: Ten pounds?

Me: Yup! Oh, and I'm really only 38 weeks pregnant.

Nice Lady: GASP. Well, good luck!

When I get into a conversation like this, for some reason, part of me feels like I should explain Sam's story. That his birth on Tuesday probably won't be a run-of-the-mill baby birth. That we might not get to have him stay in our room. And I might not get to nurse him for weeks. But then the other part of me thinks, well, for one, strangers in Target don't need all that information, and it doesn't really matter anyway. Tuesday will still be Sam's BIRTHDAY! We will celebrate him no matter what. And we can't wait.

All I really know is that tomorrow when I wake up I can say, "Four days til Baby Sam!" And that will be music to my ears.

I am still praying to God to heal our baby boy. I would love to proclaim a miracle when Baby Sam is born healthy and strong and the doctor's can't explain it.

A Good Appointment

We had a Dr. Fancy appointment today. It went really well!

He was very encouraging about the diagnosis we received last week.

He liked the view he got of Sam's heart today. He could clearly see the dialated part of his heart but thought things didn't seem as worrisome as last week.

Baby Sam weighed in at 9 pounds 13 ounces! He gained almost a pound this past week, so he should be well into the TENS when he's born.

Speaking of which, there are now only SIX days til Baby Sam. Dr. Fancy moved up the date by 2 days (to THIS Tuesday the 29th).

Baby Sam scored an 8/8 on his biophysical profile!

We left the appointment feeling very encouraged. As things stand, everyone anticipates surgery for our sweet boy shortly after he's born, but his moment of birth is not being anticipated as scary or like he'll be in urgent danger of any kind.

We are so ready to meet our baby boy and find out what's really going on in his little body. We'll know so much more after an echo cardiogram once he's born.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support.

Beautiful Dream

I had the most beautiful dream last night. In my dream, Baby Sam had been born, but I hadn't seen him yet. When I went to see him, there were two babies laying side by side and I just knew which one was Baby Sam because he looked exactly like all of his ultrasound pictures. And he was mine. And he was healthy. I got to pick him up and hug and kiss him. God had healed my baby boy.

And I do believe that could happen in real life. He could be born perfectly healthy and strong. And I would shout it from the rooftops. I would.

But if he's born as expected, needing surgery, I am prepared to fight. I will use every last bit of myself getting my baby well. I will pray with every ounce of my strength and sit by his bedside so he's not alone.

We are more than incredibly blessed to have our family around. My mom is pretty much moving in on October 1st to take care of Emma. Every day she tells me that she has her suitcase and a cot in the car, just in case. (Mom, we aren't going to make you sleep on a cot for a month!) And I know my dad and Travis's parents will be with us every step of the way too. And my cousin has offered to mail us a house key to her near-the-hospital house so that we can stop by anytime for a nap or a shower or a night. And my neighbor across the street is getting me through each day with distractions and sometimes even dinner. And that's really just the beginning of all the support we've received. My head is spinning (in a good way) with all the love we've been shown.

Unless something changes tomorrow at Dr. Fancy's, we are NINE days til Baby Sam. I am overjoyed and terrified at the same exact time, trying to hold onto the faith that got me to Baby Sam in the first place.

Please keep praying for our little baby. Grab a Sam button. Spread the word. God is listening.

A little bit frustrating...

....but in hindsight, slightly funny.

Remember on Thursday when I desperately pleaded with Dr. Fancy's nurse to squeeze me in on Friday? And she said I had to be a real patient and that consult patients could not get squeezed in? And since then I've seen my OB and been trasferred as an official "real patient" to Dr. Fancy.....

Well, today, in a moment of I-can't-wait-til-Wednesday panic, I called her back, left a message and asked to be seen tomorrow. Six hours later she calls me back and says that Dr. Fancy is at his satellite office tomorrow and it is only for consult patients. Since I am a real patient now I can't see him.

Oh well. Wednesday it is!

PS. Baby Sam is FULL TERM today. Hallelujah!

The Angel Nurse

So, rewind with me to Thursday. We had just been through our 4 hour cardiologist appointment and been sent home with some very scary news resonating in our heads. And we were in 2 cars. I was desperate to see my high risk doctor, to get someone else's take on the whole thing, to beg for an earlier c-section date. So I called and left a message with Dr. Fancy's nurse. She doesn't know me at all and it took her a while to call me back. When she did, she said she could not squeeze me in the next day because they were full and since I wasn't a real patient, I needed my OB's approval to get in. But I see Dr. Fancy every week. How am I not real patient??

Within seconds of hanging up with this nurse, my nurse from my OB office returned my similar plea-for-help call. And I believe, truly in my heart, that God put her on the other end of my cell phone that day at that moment when it felt like my world was crashing down around me.

Her name is Becky. And she's my Angel Nurse.

I told her what was going on, about the inconclusive ultrasound the day before, the 4 hour long cardiologist appointment, the diagnosis. And she was sad with me. And she let me sob. But then she helped me pull it together. She asked what the issues were. In my bleary-eyed-driving-on-the-freeway state, I couldn't look back at my notes and diagrams.

"Something like a cotraction of his ...oh, something, " I said.

"Oh, a coarctation of the aorta?" She asked.

"Oh. Yes. Yes, that's it. And something about a valve."

"Oh, the ductus, yes, yes."

And we went on and on. And my OB nurse, who is not trained in cardiology, knew exactly what was going on, exactly what Sam had been diagnosed with. She went on to tell me of 2 different babies that she knows personally who were born with very similar problems who are now thriving, chubby, happy babies.These were the first (of many) success stories I had heard. And about how the hospital we will be delivering at and having surgery at is the best place possible to be. And how we are so lucky to know now.

"So what's the plan?" She asked.

"I have to deliver with Dr. Fancy now."

"Well, that makes good sense." She agreed.

"But I just want to get him out!" I sobbed. "They tell me he's okay right now but how do they know he'll be okay in a few days? What if the problem gets worse? And I'm off the baby aspirin now." I was desperate.

Becky, the Angel Nurse, round 2. She went on and on, in the calmest voice, about how Baby Sam is in the best possible place right now. He is obviously getting everything he needs, he's 9 pounds after all, and he needs to be as big as possible and as strong as possible for his surgery. Inside of me, he is doing just fine, great really, it's only after he's born that he'll need help. She told me that God is on my side, watching me so closely.

Then she told me to go ahead and come on in the next morning just to talk to the doctor. And that day, when she saw me, she hugged me and reassured me all over again. She offered me contact information for the mamas of the babies who had similar problems. And she told me to call any time that I needed to talk.

I needed Becky that afternoon in the car. And she had all the right words to say to me. And I am so thankful.

2 Corinthains 1:3-4
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of Mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."