Sometimes I need to be reminded. Reminded that God has it all under control. Because sometimes, I forget.
I've been grumpy lately. Like almost wanting to complain about how (really quite) big I am. And how hot it is. And how I feel 9 months pregnant. But after losing 2 babies before we ever met, I promised to never complain. And to cherish and enjoy every second of being pregnant.
And today my grumpiness turned into that tears-behind-my-eyes feeling. And I didn't know why. I figured I was just tired. Because, let's face it, no matter how much I promise to enjoy it, I am in my 3rd trimester and that can be a tiring time. :)
But when my hubby told me we were going to go out to eat with his parents -- an event that I love! -- but I couldn't choose a single place to eat that sounded good and all I wanted to do was cry -- I realized something was up. So I stayed home. And watched several episodes of Say Yes to the Dress. :) Good therapy.
And when he and Emma got home the tears that once resided behind my eyes let loose. And turned into the let-me-excuse-myself-before-I-scare-my-child kind of tears.
Where was this coming from? Just hormones, really??
No, I found the root of my problem, amidst my tears.
I'm scared.
Tomorrow I will be 7 months pregnant! Which means only 2 months until we'll meet our precious baby boy -- unless of course, he surprises us early!
And Monday will be the THIRTY WEEK mark. What amazing milestones. And I'm so thankful.
But, I'm also scared. I'm scared that something could go wrong between now and then. Because if he were born NOW, he'd be small and he'd have a fight on his hands, but he'd probably be okay. That's of course not what I want -- I want him to be born healthy, strong and full-term. But I can't help but have that feeling of, Oh if he were only born now, then I could see him. And he'd be here. Because, my body allegedly starved the two babies we lost. My body worked against me. And I can't wait til the moment when he is out.
But that's not how I want to be. Because I really do believe that God is forming this little baby inside of me. And He knows how many tiny little hairs Sam has on his head. And He knows what's going on inside of me and He can see baby Sam when I can't. And I still believe that God promised us a baby boy that we would name Sam.
But I'm only human and sometimes I forget. And I need to be reminded.
And tonight, as I put on a happy face just in time to read bedtime stories to Emma, I got my reminder. Because as we read her nightly Bible story, it was the story of Sarah and Abraham. And about how God promised her a baby, but she laughed because she thought she was too old. But the messenger of this news said, "Why is Sarah laughing? Anything is possible with God."
Why is Erica scared? Anything is possible with God.
Yes, I believe that. Anything is possible with God. I have living, breathing proof of that sleeping in the next room -- my healthy daughter, born without complication before we ever knew what MTHFR even was.
And as I sit here, 7 months pregnant with a healthy, growing, and kicking baby boy, I will rest in God's promises and go forward in my faith that He is taking care of this little boy.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
29 weeks and a day!
Yesterday marked 29 weeks -- and Thursday will mark 9 weeks 'til Baby Sam!!!!! (Though his daddy says he's going to come earlier than that!)
He probably weighs about 3 1/2 pounds by now. Grow, Baby, Grow!
I continue to get stares of amazement when friends and strangers think I'm "due any day!" and "ready to pop!" or "ready any minute!" Sorry, everyone, but I'm going to get a lot bigger!!! ;) Especially since this is the part where Sam starts to pack on the pounds.
I'm not sure if I got a lot bigger overnight or if maybe our little baby has "dropped" (which is normal, but perhaps a bit early). I don't remember that happening with Emma, but all of a sudden my shirts do not cover the bottom of my belly. And when I sit down? I can't (comfortably) sit up straight because my belly rests on my thighs! hahaa. I have to recline. :) I'm sure it's just me getting bigger......
Speaking of which, I am waiting very anxiously for Motherhood Maternity to send my new, larger shorts my way! I ordered them online and I know they've shipped. Now I wait. But it's soooo hot outside and I need some shorts! And I very much so disagree with their website when it says you should "order your pre-pregnancy size" in maternity clothes. Ha! Yeah right. These new shorts? They are 2 sizes up from my pre-pregnancy size...and I really hope they fit!
On Sunday, we are taking Emma to a Sibling Class at the hospital. We will have a 30 minute class, complete with diapering baby dolls, and then a hospital tour. I think she'll leave with a big sister shirt. :) I'm excited!
I can't believe (well, really I can) that we are going to have a baby in 9 weeks!!!!! I love you, Baby Sam and I can't wait to meet you and see your cute face and your tiny toes!!!!!
He probably weighs about 3 1/2 pounds by now. Grow, Baby, Grow!
I continue to get stares of amazement when friends and strangers think I'm "due any day!" and "ready to pop!" or "ready any minute!" Sorry, everyone, but I'm going to get a lot bigger!!! ;) Especially since this is the part where Sam starts to pack on the pounds.
I'm not sure if I got a lot bigger overnight or if maybe our little baby has "dropped" (which is normal, but perhaps a bit early). I don't remember that happening with Emma, but all of a sudden my shirts do not cover the bottom of my belly. And when I sit down? I can't (comfortably) sit up straight because my belly rests on my thighs! hahaa. I have to recline. :) I'm sure it's just me getting bigger......
Speaking of which, I am waiting very anxiously for Motherhood Maternity to send my new, larger shorts my way! I ordered them online and I know they've shipped. Now I wait. But it's soooo hot outside and I need some shorts! And I very much so disagree with their website when it says you should "order your pre-pregnancy size" in maternity clothes. Ha! Yeah right. These new shorts? They are 2 sizes up from my pre-pregnancy size...and I really hope they fit!
On Sunday, we are taking Emma to a Sibling Class at the hospital. We will have a 30 minute class, complete with diapering baby dolls, and then a hospital tour. I think she'll leave with a big sister shirt. :) I'm excited!
I can't believe (well, really I can) that we are going to have a baby in 9 weeks!!!!! I love you, Baby Sam and I can't wait to meet you and see your cute face and your tiny toes!!!!!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Baby Update
Look at this sweet boy!I had a great appointment today! Baby Sam is weighing in at 3 pounds and 4 ounces. He's a big boy so far! The ultrasound tech took all his measurements and began to calculate his size. Then she said, "How big was your daughter?" Ummm...9 pounds, two weeks early?? And then she measured him all over again. haha. He's in the 76% percentile for size. Good job, Sam -- keep growing!!! He also has HAIR!!!!! And he's sitting in a breech position, which probably will change but doesn't much matter since I have to have a c-section anyway. :) I got to see and feel an elbow jab me!! So fun. And after a visit with the doctor afterward, we can still conclude that my contractions are NOT doing anything to make this baby arrive early, so that is very good news. And now I get to go every TWO weeks! ;)
Monday, July 20, 2009
"Stresting"
Stresting.
Yup. That's my new term. What is stresting, you wonder? The feeling you get when you have the undeniable urge of nesting -- yet you can't really accomplish anything or else you get contractions! And you feel stressed. Ergo.....I am not nesting. I am stresting. :)
I mean, don't get me wrong, I am still 100% blissfully happy, thankful and excited. I am just finding it hard to want (need?) to clean and shop and prepare -- when I can't. But as my hubby reminds me, all we need is SAM -- all of the rest of the stuff (the clean kitchen, the perfect scrapbook, the baby wardrobe and even the stockpile of diapers) is just extra.
If I really take it easy all day, my contractions are so few and far between. But if I stay busy for even a few hours, they come pretty frequently. I'm glad I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow! Grow, Baby, Grow!!!
I absolutely cannot wait to see him on the ultrasound. I've asked him very nicely to make sure I can see his precious little face. :)
And I'd like to give some due credit to my sweet husband who is, as I type -- at 8:45 pm and after a day that started at the gym at 5:30 am -- getting our groceries at HEB. THANK YOU!!!
Yup. That's my new term. What is stresting, you wonder? The feeling you get when you have the undeniable urge of nesting -- yet you can't really accomplish anything or else you get contractions! And you feel stressed. Ergo.....I am not nesting. I am stresting. :)
I mean, don't get me wrong, I am still 100% blissfully happy, thankful and excited. I am just finding it hard to want (need?) to clean and shop and prepare -- when I can't. But as my hubby reminds me, all we need is SAM -- all of the rest of the stuff (the clean kitchen, the perfect scrapbook, the baby wardrobe and even the stockpile of diapers) is just extra.
If I really take it easy all day, my contractions are so few and far between. But if I stay busy for even a few hours, they come pretty frequently. I'm glad I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow! Grow, Baby, Grow!!!
I absolutely cannot wait to see him on the ultrasound. I've asked him very nicely to make sure I can see his precious little face. :)
And I'd like to give some due credit to my sweet husband who is, as I type -- at 8:45 pm and after a day that started at the gym at 5:30 am -- getting our groceries at HEB. THANK YOU!!!
28 weeks!
Today I am 28 weeks pregnant!!! I'm officially in the 3rd trimester!
"Your baby weighs approximately 2.4 pounds and is a little under 15 inches from head to heel. He or she has been gaining weight steadily during the past 27 weeks as its stem cells develop into organs, blood and immune systems, and bones. However, from this point forward, your baby's weight gain will be due to increasing amounts of body fat."
Tomorrow we get another peek at Baby Sam!!!! Emma gets to come this time -- she's so excited to see her baby brother. I'll be sure to post some pix tomorrow.
I've been taking it really easy and my contractions have slowed down a ton! I can't get much done -- and my hubby has to do the dishes and grocery shopping -- but it's all worth it to keep this boy growing and strong!
"Your baby weighs approximately 2.4 pounds and is a little under 15 inches from head to heel. He or she has been gaining weight steadily during the past 27 weeks as its stem cells develop into organs, blood and immune systems, and bones. However, from this point forward, your baby's weight gain will be due to increasing amounts of body fat."
Tomorrow we get another peek at Baby Sam!!!! Emma gets to come this time -- she's so excited to see her baby brother. I'll be sure to post some pix tomorrow.
I've been taking it really easy and my contractions have slowed down a ton! I can't get much done -- and my hubby has to do the dishes and grocery shopping -- but it's all worth it to keep this boy growing and strong!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Tidbits
Three ways to document just how pregnant I am. :)
1. Last time I went to the doctor, when I stepped on the scale, the nurse had to choose a new block of weight to measure me with. You know, like instead of starting with one big block and adding the little pounds, she used the next-step-up big block. :)
2. When I was pregnant with Emma, there was a point at which I weighed more than a friend of ours named Paul. And one day, in the car with lots of my girlfriends, I announced that I weighed more than Paul now. One friend said, "Oh, how much does Paul weigh?" and Paul's wife answered! ;) So then, everyone knew at least how much I weighed!!! Well, the time has come. And once again, I weigh more than Paul!
3. When I use a public restroom, if without Emma, I try and avoid the wheelchair accessible stalls, so someone who actually needs it can use it. (If I have Emma, we totally use it -- I mean we are two people after all!) Well, when I step into a smaller stall, I think to myself, oh there's plenty of room in here! But then when I turn to leave, it is almost impossible to get out and I have to squeeze my belly past the door. Well, I put a little thought into it and realized that when I enter the stall, I have all the room in the world because my belly is over the toilet seat. But when I turn around, my belly is smooshed into the door. :) Big stalls, here I come!
1. Last time I went to the doctor, when I stepped on the scale, the nurse had to choose a new block of weight to measure me with. You know, like instead of starting with one big block and adding the little pounds, she used the next-step-up big block. :)
2. When I was pregnant with Emma, there was a point at which I weighed more than a friend of ours named Paul. And one day, in the car with lots of my girlfriends, I announced that I weighed more than Paul now. One friend said, "Oh, how much does Paul weigh?" and Paul's wife answered! ;) So then, everyone knew at least how much I weighed!!! Well, the time has come. And once again, I weigh more than Paul!
3. When I use a public restroom, if without Emma, I try and avoid the wheelchair accessible stalls, so someone who actually needs it can use it. (If I have Emma, we totally use it -- I mean we are two people after all!) Well, when I step into a smaller stall, I think to myself, oh there's plenty of room in here! But then when I turn to leave, it is almost impossible to get out and I have to squeeze my belly past the door. Well, I put a little thought into it and realized that when I enter the stall, I have all the room in the world because my belly is over the toilet seat. But when I turn around, my belly is smooshed into the door. :) Big stalls, here I come!
Slow down, Mama!
So, apparently, shopping at 8 pm after a busy day is not a good idea. I came home from a night out with my neighbor and started having contractions about every 5 minutes. Yikes! (This did happen with Emma. From 35-38 weeks I had very, very regular contractions, and we ended up in the labor and delivery triage about 4 times wondering if it was "time". However, those 3 weeks of contractions really didn't do anything except put me on maternity leave early.)
So I sat on the couch on Thursday night, waiting, feeling and writing down my contractions.
"Umm..Trav? I'm having another one. That's 5 in the last 25 minutes??"
By now it was about 10:30 pm. The doctor on-call told me I could either get some medicine called in to my pharmacy to stop the contractions, or come in to the hospital to get checked out. While my head was really telling me this happened before and he's not going to be born now, I still couldn't help but want to make sure he was staying put. And I really didn't want to take any more medicine unless I HAD to.
So I called my neighbor around 11 pm and she came over and stayed with sleeping Emma. Isn't she nice??? :)
On the way to the hospital -- I had like 1 contraction. So I felt silly, but we kept going. It took a while at the hospital, but eventually the contractions picked up again and were about every 7 minutes. However, there is a magical test called a fetal fibronectin test, that predicts whether or not you'll go into labor any time soon. And mine was negative! I did get to hear Sam's heartbeat for about 3 hours on the monitor! :) That part sure was fun!
Since the contractions weren't doing anything (to prepare me for labor), around 3 am, they discharged us, telling me to contact my doctor in the morning and see what he wants me to do. And to rest. And take it easy.
So MY nurse, when I spoke to her in the morning, told me to take it easy and if they pick up again to drink a bunch of water and rest on my left side. But I was a bit worried that this would be the beginning of "bed rest", like with Emma at 35 weeks. But this would be many, many weeks of bed rest! But, thankfully, not the case.
So my plan is to take it easy. And do ONE thing each day. So yesterday, I rested alllllll day (thanks to GranJan) and saved up all my energy for my hubby's 10 year reunion last night! Today the plan is to really do nothing. :) Maybe I'll straighten the house in little spurts.
So, the contractions are back to where they used to be -- about 1 an hour. And we hope and assume that Baby Sam is staying put. He needs to grow a bunch before he gets here. :) I vow not to go back to Kohl's until I can bring Sam with me in a stroller!
So I sat on the couch on Thursday night, waiting, feeling and writing down my contractions.
"Umm..Trav? I'm having another one. That's 5 in the last 25 minutes??"
By now it was about 10:30 pm. The doctor on-call told me I could either get some medicine called in to my pharmacy to stop the contractions, or come in to the hospital to get checked out. While my head was really telling me this happened before and he's not going to be born now, I still couldn't help but want to make sure he was staying put. And I really didn't want to take any more medicine unless I HAD to.
So I called my neighbor around 11 pm and she came over and stayed with sleeping Emma. Isn't she nice??? :)
On the way to the hospital -- I had like 1 contraction. So I felt silly, but we kept going. It took a while at the hospital, but eventually the contractions picked up again and were about every 7 minutes. However, there is a magical test called a fetal fibronectin test, that predicts whether or not you'll go into labor any time soon. And mine was negative! I did get to hear Sam's heartbeat for about 3 hours on the monitor! :) That part sure was fun!
Since the contractions weren't doing anything (to prepare me for labor), around 3 am, they discharged us, telling me to contact my doctor in the morning and see what he wants me to do. And to rest. And take it easy.
So MY nurse, when I spoke to her in the morning, told me to take it easy and if they pick up again to drink a bunch of water and rest on my left side. But I was a bit worried that this would be the beginning of "bed rest", like with Emma at 35 weeks. But this would be many, many weeks of bed rest! But, thankfully, not the case.
So my plan is to take it easy. And do ONE thing each day. So yesterday, I rested alllllll day (thanks to GranJan) and saved up all my energy for my hubby's 10 year reunion last night! Today the plan is to really do nothing. :) Maybe I'll straighten the house in little spurts.
So, the contractions are back to where they used to be -- about 1 an hour. And we hope and assume that Baby Sam is staying put. He needs to grow a bunch before he gets here. :) I vow not to go back to Kohl's until I can bring Sam with me in a stroller!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
26 weeks...and a day!
Yesterday was 26 weeks! Our little one should be about 14 inches long and nearly 2 pounds! My 6 month pregnant self has been well-documented and here are a few more pix!! Just over 12 weeks to go until we meet Baby Sam!!!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Trav's Been Busy!
Baby Sam's room is coming along!!!
Here is my old nightstand that he painted dark brown..and changed the flowery drawer pulls!
Rocking chair --- and Etsy nursing cover! (You can kind of see the taupe-ish wall on the right and the blue wall on the left...)
The brown stripe above his bed AND his name on the wall!He also has new brown curtains, but I don't have a picture of those. They are cute!
Friday, July 3, 2009
A Year
One year ago today I walked into an operating room and said good-bye to this teeny-tiny baby.
What a celebration, today, one year later......
Psalms 27:14 "I waited patiently for the Lord, and He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, and He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see... and trust in the Lord."
Thursday, July 2, 2009
All Checked Up
Today I went in for my check-up. It was complete with a glucose test -- it's not very nice to make a pregnant mama fast! But it's for a good cause... :)
I really, really love my doctor. I feel like he totally knows what he's doing and he has learned by now that I come with a list of questions and he answers every one.
My first question? Umm...so I think I'm having contractions? Not to worry. Totally normal. And I only have about one an hour. But thankfully, I had one right there in the office so he could feel it!
My second question? So....can we go ahead and schedule the c-section?? Mark your calendars!!!! Thursday, October 1, 2009!!!! I don't know what you are doing that day -- but I'm going to be having a baby!!! The doc said that with people with "thrombophilia issues" (aka MTHFR) he likes to deliver 1-2 weeks early, since theoretically, blood clots can affect the placenta. But I'm getting a few extra ultrasounds here and there to make sure Baby Sam continues to grow like he should and everything should be just fine.
Also, I recorded the heartbeat with my cell phone today!!! However, I cannot figure out how to get it on here. I'll keep working on it!
Stay tuned! Tomorrow we are taking our maternity/family pictures!!!!
I really, really love my doctor. I feel like he totally knows what he's doing and he has learned by now that I come with a list of questions and he answers every one.
My first question? Umm...so I think I'm having contractions? Not to worry. Totally normal. And I only have about one an hour. But thankfully, I had one right there in the office so he could feel it!
My second question? So....can we go ahead and schedule the c-section?? Mark your calendars!!!! Thursday, October 1, 2009!!!! I don't know what you are doing that day -- but I'm going to be having a baby!!! The doc said that with people with "thrombophilia issues" (aka MTHFR) he likes to deliver 1-2 weeks early, since theoretically, blood clots can affect the placenta. But I'm getting a few extra ultrasounds here and there to make sure Baby Sam continues to grow like he should and everything should be just fine.
Also, I recorded the heartbeat with my cell phone today!!! However, I cannot figure out how to get it on here. I'll keep working on it!
Stay tuned! Tomorrow we are taking our maternity/family pictures!!!!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Whoa, Baby!
See this little bottle? This little bottle of mega folic acid pills? This little 3 month supply???? When this bottle runs out it's gonna be baby time!
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