Friday, September 18, 2009

One Day at a Time

Well, we are taking it one day at a time and today was definitely better than yesterday. And we can get a good chuckle out of the part when Travis checked the mail and received a jury summons for October 7. Luckily he could reschedule...for January!

We met with my OB today, and he came prepared with a book about heart defects and had talked with my specialist a couple of times -- though he had yet to see the actual echo results. He was very encouraging. Basically, he said that this isn't what you would want, but we are in the best city possible to deliver Baby Sam, he (the doc) is "in" very well with the heads of the cardiology department and feels 100% confident in the doctors who will be caring for Baby Sam. The problem(s) is/are fixable and he should have no lasting effects from any of it.

He has officially transferred my care to "Dr. Fancy" (this is just what I call him), my high risk doctor. I won't see my OB again until after Sam is born for my own post-partum care.

Like I mentioned before, I really get nervous about Sam staying in me too long. Now that I'm off the baby aspirin, I just really want to have him within the next 10 days, which is when the anti-coagulating effects wear off. However, Dr. Fancy does not think we need to move the date any closer, since October first is only 13 days away.

My OB explained that when I have the ultrasounds with Dr. Fancy, he does a biophysical profile of Baby Sam and he's been scoring 8 out of 8, a perfect score! This tells the docs that Baby Sam should be fine for the coming week (or more). If he'd gotten a 6 out of 8, they'd see me back sooner, but with an 8/8 I get seen again in one week.

We left my OB appointment feeling reassured and like this was going to be manageable. But, I must say, in the waiting room before my appointment? If after 2 miscarriages I ever thought looking at newborn babies was hard, my oh my, was it hard today. It seemed like everyone in the waiting room was there for their post-partum checkup with their tiny babies. I was a weepy mess. I'm sure I'll be in that same waiting room 6 weeks after my c-section, maybe even holding Baby Sam, but it was still hard.

Aside from the obvious worry and uncertainty right now, it's proving hard for me to be Mommy to our daughter without zoning out and just wanting to be on the couch amidst my thoughts. I know this will get easier and I'm still processing all of this. I want so much to be here for her and to make the next weeks of her life as normal as possible. We watched Tinkerbell tonight -- that seemed to be a good compromise. I could zone out in my own thoughts while we snuggled together.

We have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support from our friends, family, and strangers. If you've sent me a comment or a facebook message, or called my cell phone, I have read it (or heard it) and I am so grateful. Right now, I'm still spinning from yesterday and just can't respond to everything, but please know I'm reading your comments and we cherish your prayers.

Tomorrow, we will wake up and declare "12 days til Baby Sam!", take off the next link on our paper chain and celebrate him. The first few weeks of his life might not be what we planned and he'll have a fight on his hands, but we will be there fighting with him, every step of the way. We love you, Baby Sam!!!!!


  1. I follow Sara's blog... but I wanted you to know you and baby Sam are in my prayers. Until his arrival in 13 days, God Bless you, your husband, daughter and of course, Baby Sam.

    On a side note, we survived 4 weeks of NICU care here in St Louis with our daughter this past February, it was by far one of the hardest things ever. But the NICU dr's and nurses are the best at what they do and will do everything for your son.

  2. Hi Erica, love the post. When things were so uncertain with Matt, the precious doctors reminded me about the verse in Psalm, "Weeping last for a night, but joy comes in the morning." Some versions even have the word laughter substituted for joy. I'm so glad to see you were able to have some joyful laughter today.

    I was up and down throughout the night praying for you guys and Sam. You have been on my mind non-stop and I've told so many people to be praying for you. Please know that I will continue to pray and pass along the prayer request!


  3. God is answering all these prayers already--simply with a growing sense of assurance in your heart about your sweet little boy. I ditto Linds.

  4. Pretty cool that Sam hasn't figured out that something is supposed to be amiss. 8 out of 8? Wow! Way to grow strong boy!! I love the chain idea for counting down the days... what a great visual image. If you think Emma would want to play at a park in your area with us tomorrow, let me know. Love you, friend.

  5. So glad you're doing better today! Just take it one day at a time and try to stay strong for both Sam and Emma. You will get through this and have Sam home with you soon!

  6. I love the hope and confidence in this post. Spoken like a true Christian full of faith. Prayers and hugs.